This morning two excellent comments were posted by someone who it seems spent some time on staff. “Savanna” gives such an amazing view of what it is like inside that crazy bubble as a staff member. We are therefore posting those comments as they deserve a little more airtime as their own article. It will be a revelation perhaps to those Scientologists that have never been on staff and probably a horrible reminder to those who were (or still are).
These comments were in response to yesterday’s post “The Promises. The Reality.” Here goes:
The more I cheered and supported the more fake I began to feel to the point where I started to believe the “PR”. I didn’t really believe it but I couldn’t be seen to disagree – acceptable truths right! And for what? My hard-earned money donated only to be squandered! And do you think the Sea Org or staff care? No! They don’t because they have been told that if you’re not on staff then you’re a public, and public pay, THAT’S their contribution! And don’t forget the “useless eaters” at fundraisers – those public who attended fundraisers who paid just a couple hundred rand. Giggles and fits of nervous laughter from the rest of us as Albert would call certain public a “useless eater” as confirms were being worked out. Actually I felt sorry for Albert, he did all he could to keep Ken and Alex happy. He’s a fairly decent guy but I lost respect for him the more I heard him denigrate the public behind their backs and alot of them were dedicated public. Maybe one day we will all be back in comm. Albert and Sandra can fix their mistakes and as public we can forgive them and ourselves for not having the courage to make a stand sooner.
Next comment in response to someone else:
Yes Dali that “sense of entitlement and superiority” was drummed into us on staff. It had to be. Usually people are paid for their work, or at least they’re praised, appreciated and thanked for their contribution, most times it’s done with mutual respect and you’d have thought minimally we’d be helped to get up the bridge. With all the tech we have you’d think that would apply to Scn staff. No Sir! Not a chance. Nothing like signing a 5 year contract and being locked in and then suffering the abuses and continually ‘guilted’ into staying. Albert or Sandra telling us how bad the psychs are and that’s who we’re fighting. And how messed up the planet is ‘out there’. And we’re fighting for our eternity. And we’ll get our OT levels because we’re the one’s who really deserve it. No pay, long hours, shouting bosses and enough invalidation to turn any human being into a spiritual hermit. And then immediately we’d forget because we’d get into flap mode. There’s ALWAYS a flap! Do you know what it’s like to always be on high alert, no rest, no time to just have fun? And if I am not allowed to rest and have fun then why should the public. LRH says we’re all here on the same terms so if I’m going to go through hell on staff ‘for the public’ then so what if I call them at 9pm at night. Sleeping? What’s that? I don’t get enough sleep and I’m saving the planet! Yes, I understand that you’ll have to bond your house but we’re all making sacrifices (yeah mate, besides not being paid for the job I’m using my staff pay to run my post – so yes, you can cough up thank you, oops – remember to smile Sandra says we need to smile at the public otherwise it’s out-PR).
Not that I regged much – I couldn’t bring myself to ask public for money. I tried it a few times but it didn’t sit well with me. But Albert and Ken have it down to a fine art or at least they think it’s an art. In truth it’s just bullying people, finding their buttons and pushing them or as Ken and Albert would call it “invading privacy”. Never be afraid to “invade someone’s privacy”. I think it means “say what you have to to get them to pay”. And so the insanity continued. I recall being told that we were not allowed to eat the food at the events – that was for public. So you’d have staff getting no pay, exhausted from long working hours to put on an event “for the public” and not allowed to eat or eating poorly because your staff pay just couldn’t pay for a proper meal. So your physical rudiments are out, you’re getting blasted for low attendance, of course Ken or Albert or Sandra had to give a good pep talk, how could they accomplish that? Yip, tell everyone how special they are for being on staff and getting the job done and how the public have the money, I mean what are they going to spend their money on anyway? More mest? Another couch? A holiday – what? Something useless that’s guaranteed. And look at how you hard you work!
So you’re in this vortex and most of the time you’re invalidated but you’re pep’d up just enough to speak to the public who really are quite naive because you’re the smart dedicated one for being on staff and frankly the public actually should be here too but that’s beside the point. Just get out there and reg those dilettantes because truthfully if you don’t my head is going to roll. And so the vicious circle goes. It’s about self-preservation. And as much as I have a deep dislike for what Albert, Sandra, Ken, Alex and a few others put me through I realised that they too are just fighting for their survival with the pressure brought down on them in this vortex made up of internally generated flaps that doesn’t allow anyone to realise it. They’re distracted by the orders, the int missions and telexes each one contradicting and cross ordering the other which only indicates that the confusion rides even higher.
And the worst part is that you only see this when you take a breath and a step back and just observe. That self-imposed vortex drowns out everything from “the outside” until you stop and look and ask yourself, where does all the IAS money go? Do we really need 10 course rooms – we can barely fill one! What condition formula do I apply for “straight up and vertical”? Oh no, next flap, here we go again!
And this is also post JBG Day’s Ideal Org big reveal. Yes, moving into that fancy building made it worse for the staff because now you could be ‘guilted’ from that angle too. AND YOU DARE NOT SHARE YOUR PERSONAL VIEWS WITH PUBLIC!!! Sandra’s cold iron-thetan would come down on you with a vengeance and the full support of Albert, Ken and Alex, her personal cheerleader.
My bitterness is coming through now. Time to fly. And I’ve got a full day of work to get through still. I need an extra strong coffee this morning!