As you all know this is a very proudly South African blog but we are so pleased to bring you this story from France. She has left the church and walked into the sunshine. And our community played a part in her journey. She said this in an email to ScnAfrica: “I have a look on your site every day. The freedom of expression and the compassionate comments are heart-warming. It really helped me to go through a true process, starting from feeling muzzled and alone to being informed, responsible and confident. So I thank you so much!!! Via the various posts and viewpoints I have been able to evolve in my emotions and thoughts and memories, allowing me to as-is and take full responsibility. I could realise also that due to my very firm and “obstinate” integrity I have been protected from a lot of “balls-up” and despite my light training and old auditing level I will recover soon!!! So THANKS to all participants to that blog.”
“Back in Comm”. It’s a hell of thing!
Here’s her letter:
Official withdrawal from Church of Scn
by Florence, OT III, ex public of Paris Org, CC Paris & St-Hill UK
My daughter, staff in Brussels Ideal Org, has recently disconnected from me, because I told her in September that I don’t intend to come back onto official church lines for services and, maybe some day in the future, I would possibly take services in an independent group – so called “squirrel”☺.
She actually disconnected because I prefer my integrity and refuse to submit to an emotional blackmail of whether I can see my child and grand-children or not.
To me it sounds like a false condition assignment and a violation of the down-to-earth “Way to happiness”.
So there remains no reason not to publicly announce my continuous and increasing disagreement with what the official Church of Scientology has become: MEST oriented, putting forward elitism based on money, removing valuable LRH highly trained auditors and C/S and buddies (what is the real intention?), introducing distortions in LRH technology, leadership taken on by a new self appointed “source” and destructing all the measures taken by LRH in order to prevent the possession of Scientology by a single person, harassment of dedicated staff members, suppression of the freedom to talk freely and get informed, misuse of ethics leading the public to PTSness, length of the New bridge, which produces far less auditors and real OTs than before, reporting of false stats leading staffs and public to believe that Scientology is expanding, bad use of PR…
For years (since 1992) I’ve had the feeling that “something is going wrong”, but this “something” has become more and more odd and perverse. I think the first huge shock was in 1993 when I was on my OT III cycle at St-Hill UK. I was working in a French company run by Scientologists. My “American” boss had made things easier to me so that I could pay for my auditing and go after having prepared all my job in advance. After only a few days in England I started to receive faxes via Ethics Officer from my French boss putting pressure on me about this and that (pure enturbulation for nothing) and it took many weeks until a Non enturbulation order was finally issued, as I was spending more time in Ethics and handling PTPs (they had stopped paying me without notice) than having wins. Actually the “management” of my company (many OT VII, OT V and OT III, and amongst them an “Ethics Specialist”) was “dramatising” my absence. “HOW CAN THE ORGANISATION SET UP BY LRH AND DEDICATED TO THE DELIVERY OF OTS ALLOW SUCH A SITUATION?? …A BANK AGREEMENT ON BEHALF OF OTS?AND SUCH A LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY? IS THAT THE PRODUCT OF ADVANCED OT LEVELS? OF TRAINING? OF LRH PHILOSOPHY BEING APPLIED?” This special period of time originally envisioned as a reward and a joyful adventure turned out to be my first experiment of suppression… Struggle from beginning to far end. My banker seemed to be more human and sympathetic than Scn fellows.☺ After this experience I never felt like to continue on the Bridge: no trust anymore, although I recognise my responsibility and my omission of the “Price of freedom”.
An anecdote just for fun: when I started the Communication course in 1982 my very first disappointment was that the ashtray was not supposed to rise into the air alone by itself!!! I was ready for that!!! ☺
I had decided at one point (1995) to give no more money to that group conducted by COB (David Miscavige) for “dubious” (from my viewpoint) goals:
_ My refusal to upgrade my status of IAS lifetime member,
_ My refusal to give even a cent for the huge perversion of LRH ideas about “Ideal orgs”, and refusal to attend to any masquerade named “Ideal org events”.
I was so disgusted that I couldn’t even attend any large event, but I was unable to put a name on my feelings. It was passive resistance!!! But I was still feeling so bad with my withholdy thoughts…
Yet I have continued to work for the Translation Unit Europe (particularly 1/4 of the SHSBC with many commendations for quality and efficiency; 11 levels earned that way) and I have used part of my awards studying the Basics. In 2000 I went to St-Hill to get a Repair on having been unfairly thrown out as as public in1998 (because I was crying in the Host’s office – Oops!!! Well…), and also in 2009 to complete the FPRD started more than 10 years before. I stopped helping in T.U. when the preparations for Golden Age of Tech 2 began: I didn’t want to be involved in this.
At that time (early 2012), having heard of the public departure of a French artist (OT VIII and quite trained), I wondered why; I also heard about the Debbie Cook letter, which I asked to receive. Wow!! I found out that all my “strange feelings” about the few things I had been noticing were being shared by many other Scientologists. It was not me being critical or having perverted ideas, it was true suppression dressed up as religious involvement. Digesting this I didn’t go further in collecting information. Little by little in 2012 I dared to mention it all to a friend; he announced that he was part of an independent group and he was SO happy about it!!! He had also seen evidence that even LRH writings were altered (confirmed by my personal inquiry), which was the “last straw” for my trust in the official church.
Recently, being quite shocked by:
_ the disconnection done by my ex-2D (CC Paris public) from our son during this summer,
_ and the disconnection done by our daughter from me and maybe (?) from her brother (barely involved in Scientology) a few weeks ago, and feeling treated like an SP though I have done nothing “wrong”, I felt free to search the internet over the last few days. It all started with Google: “changed policies LRH” and going from site to site I discovered a completely new world!!
Hundred of valuable scientologists (OTs, highly trained auditors, C/S, LRH buddies) have definitely said NO to the new suppression (official Church is going mad : 18 old scientologists declared as SP recently in South-Africa and amongst them many OT VIII and/or highly trained persons and/or IAS and Ideal orgs donators…, just because they had questioned the management; SP declares without respect of LRH procedures)!!!
Their stories made me aware of the quantity of evil within the official church, of the quantity of crimes…, and also aware of the charge I had about it all – not recognising the suppression, being in doubt about the management for years (the machinery of indoctrination is well and viciously set), suppressing myself because I am not a “money maker and able” in order to support my group… and moreover I am aware of having accepted for myself, displayed and transmitted some “in vogue” behaviors that I now consider to be arrogant, intolerant and suppressive as devoid of true ARC.
At first I had no intention to get informed or to denounce what I was considering “wrong” with the Church. I was only ashamed and sad that my daughter could disconnect like this, and that LRH representatives –the Church- could approve and encourage such a behavior: I wasn’t daring to speak about the situation, also out of respect for the image of the Church. Then anger came, and determination to know about the whole lot. The extent of the “revelation” is such that my first reaction was the need to read something from LRH (like to be sure his words were not a dream of mine), and the second reaction is that I cannot keep quiet about the lies, the treachery and the damages.
LRH wanted us to be able to look: I do!
I realise now that freedom is outside that group called Church of Scientology, which has perverted the legacy of LRH and is creating no OT but MEST contributors. The so-called squirrels or SPs ? Some are the best LRH trained C/S or auditors. The alteration of LRH work ? It lies within the official Church. I am SO relieved feeling free now to publicly say:
I AM NOT PART OF THE MASQUERADE and I disavow and repudiate the group of D. Miscavige, BUT NOT all the dedicated staff members who are trying to serve the best they can the goal they embraced as they decided to join. To them I say “Thank you for the service I benefited in the past – Courage! Don’t forget the work was free”.
Although as of today I have not taken any contact with independent groups in order to continue my way in Scientology (oddly enough, my hope of moving forward came back), I support the group of persons trusting LRH and his work (whatever their name is in different parts of the world), who stand up to continue pure tech, good services, spirituality, tolerance, humanity toward their fellow man, and continue the goal set by LRH.
It’s true joy to recover my plain integrity and (after years of “loneliness”) to feel part of a group again (which is quite subjective as I don’t communicate yet with anybody related to that matter!!☺laughing out loud).
I have no charge, no bitterness, no anger… but a renewed confidence in the game of life… WITH alertness.☺