By Joleen le Roux
WHAT IS WRONG WITH THE CHURCH?
“Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are.” John Wooden
This outline is just a glimpse of what actually occurred but is not the reason for this post. It is here just to give some background into why my research was centred around ethics, justice and the church.
In 1994 I went to AOSH ANZO to do my OT levels. I had attested to clear the previous year and had bought my package up till OTV. I was excited and couldn’t wait. I was going to finally get that taste of spiritual freedom and eternity I was promised and I would be an OT with OT abilities. Yeah!
Up until then I had gone up the bridge on the auditing side with very little training. Other than the HQS, basic study manual and a few div 6 courses, I really did not train and the reg (Albert de Beer) never suggested it as a better and surer way to go. Auditing up the bridge suited my schedule and my time management so all was good.
I did the Student hat and then went onto the solo courses. I had received my OT invitation and the day I started on OT1, a directive came down from up-lines to say that nobody was to do their OT levels unless all their grades had been completed. However, as I had already started OT1, I was allowed to continue. After OTIII however, I was told that I needed to buy 6 more intensives as I would have to do the rest of my grades before going onto OTIV. I bargained with the CS on the amount of intensives I needed and it was eventually agreed that I would buy 4 and would top up if need be. I then completed grade II through IV OT style. This was later declared an “Arbitrary” by DM and cancelled.
I got through it in the allotted time and went on to do OTIV and V. I had been at AOSH ANZO for 6 months, in the chair or course room for all that time with only a couple of days off when I had a persistent FN toward the end of OTIII.
Coming home was not what I thought it would be. Before I left, I had put in charge as my acting ED a Scientologist who was also my “best” friend, another Scientologist as my WISE consultant to keep ethics in and to ensure all admin was standardly done including stats and FP as well as another Scientologist as my Tech Dir (he was also on foundation staff). All supposedly ethical and upstanding, trustworthy and reliable, or so I thought.
Well, my world was about to collapse and it did. I was ruined financially, which keyed me in terribly and the next 3 years was a story of going through hell without a return ticket.
The most detrimental effect this had on me was that I went screaming down the tone scale. Obviously I wrote all the KR’s (to get it out of my universe and put it onto the correct lines), called for WISE arbitrations (before mediation replaced it), and sort legal advice from my attorney to assist me with the legal ramifications although I never took action at that point as I intended to petition Int. Justice Chief if nothing panned out with the KR’s and arbitration.
And nothing happened! So I petitioned Int Justice chief for permission to take the matter legal. 6 Months later, the LC informed me that my petition had not been approved and that the only recourse I had was to go through the churches Justice system once they had recruited an ethics officer, sent him to Flag for training and put him on post. As this never happened, I never got any justice from the church on this cycle and all the Scientologists involved have not ethics or justice put in on them ever.
I went back to AOSH ANZO in 1996 for an OTV review, but at the end of it, I was told that my OT levels were fine and that I must get onto OTVI and VII as soon as possible.
The common R-factors I was given was that one exhibits the phenomena of the next level and that is what is happening with me, and that OTV is audited NOTS which opens up your NOTS case so that you can audit solo on OT VII and with my OTVII case now wide open, I am bound to run into stuff that will be handled on that level.
But I had lost everything, I was broke and I just could not seem to turn it around. Having been successful all my life, this was a phenomena I had little reality on and couldn’t seem to shake it.
Needless to say, I was sec checked up the yin-yang. I think I have had the JBH Sec check 4 times, not to mention the tailor-made’s that was “specifically” done for me.
At Flag I was tipped for FPRD and had to redo my basic form (for the third time) as well as my 2D list (as I was having 2D problems). During the FPRD, I had head-aches, was very demotivated and generally struggled with it. However, I got through it and attested and waited for something to blow so I could get on with my life.
No such luck. It just got worse. I was by now so sure that I had somehow committed huge overts, that I was to blame for my condition and that there was something I was doing/not doing that was causing this. My introversion was complete.
Every time I asked for help, I would be told to come in for an interview with this terminal from Anzo or that terminal from Flag or St Hill. All these interview ended the same. We can give you a clean-up for free but you must get to Flag/St Hill/ANZO. That’s air fare, accommodation as well as the cost of running your home back in SA for the duration. And if I wanted to really get fixed up, it will be 2 to 4 intensives as well. My tip from Flag was for R330,000 to get cleaned up. From St Hill, R100 000 and from ANZO, only the free ARC break and rudiments clean-up was offered.
At this point I pretty much knew that unless I won the lotto, I was not going to get any help from the church. On top of that, because I refused to contribute to Ideal Orgs, IAS (I am a founding patron), or to any other church activity, I was now pretty much ostracised. So I decided that I would find out why the church operated in this manner and why no help was ever given (except by individual Field terminals such as Sandy Kroeger in her own time at her own determination ) without having to pay and why when you had no money, you were persona-non-grata.
I went onto the Internet! Guilt, shame, hiding… well that’s just a few of the sensations I felt. I was betraying my group! But I got over it the more I read and the more I saw.
The first thing that struck me was that LRH had not been seen since around 1979 but worse was that from 1972 to 1979, very few people actually did interact with him and he never made any public appearances. http://www.davidicke.com/forum/showthread.php?t=149402
We had to take other peoples word for all communication coming out that was attributed to LRH.
Then there is the mysterious death of LRH. The Phsyc drugs found in his blood, the fact that his physician was gambling with Pat and Anne Broker along with DM in Vegas at the time. http://home.earthlink.net/~snefru/deathoflrh/ http://home.earthlink.net/~snefru/deathoflrh/FACTnet-death.html That the doctor who did attend to LRH and signed the Death Certificate then went missing for a year and that LRH was cremated the very next day because of a typed out statement supposedly from LRH stating that he did not want an autopsy to be performed on his body due to religious beliefs not to mention his will being changed and signed the day before he died. http://www.lermanet.com/scientology/l-ron-hubbard-coroners-report-complete.pdf
This made no sense to me. LRH spoke often of being stalked, hunted and felt threatened by various organizations from the CIA to the APA and Interpol. He spoke about people trying to kill him. As well as the fact that I have never seen any Scientology reference to not having an autopsy done due to religious beliefs. With all that, surely LRH would have insisted that unless le left his body willingly, with a full hat write up and handover, as well as clear cut instructions, he would want an autopsy. There was no hat write up, no clear instructions, not goodbye message. Just the PR Gobbledygook we got from Pat Broker.
For me at least, I am quite happy to believe that LRH’s death was brought about by a conspiracy and that Miscavige, the Brokers, Starkey and Dr. Gene Denk were all involved. This is my opinion.
Once satisfied that LRH lost control of the Church in the 70’s my research lead me to this information that shows a connection to the CIA of DM and Jenske. http://www.davidmiscavige.wikiscientology.org/text/New_Evidence_-_US-Government_tries_to_control_Scientology_-_David_Miscavige_is_an_exposed_CIA-Source
The conclusion I came too was exactly what LRH had advocated about being the victim of the CIA and other intelligent forces.
Well now at least I had enough evidence to know why the tech didn’t always give the results one was lead to believe or was expecting and why one got keyed in again. With suppression of this magnitude on the lines, the alteration of the tech, even by a small margin would alter the outcome.
So, when did it start to go wrong for me.
I looked at when I last was doing well. It was up until I went to ANZO to do my OT levels. Things might have been weird before then, but I was sufficiently keyed out to not be adversely affect by it. I then came across a very interesting dissection of “Clear” and the penny dropped. You can find this information here. http://www.wiseoldgoat.com/papers-scientology/hubbard_story_of_mayo3a_clear.html#index
From this I have ascertained, again for myself, that the runway, the methodology, as well as the outcome of the state of clear is so confused, that there is no way to really know if you are clear or not. Armed with this r-factor, I realised that I possibly never went clear. That it was OK to let me attest because I could then pay for all the other services which I had. All in all, I have contributed for services alone over R750 000 and what have I gained? A state less than I had before I came into the church. Don’t get me wrong. I have had plenty of wins and in the earlier stages, I even think I had case gain, but it was all reversed to a worse condition after doing my OT levels.
Now I don’t know about you but if something is sold to you that does “A” and you don’t get the “A”, then you have recourse to getting your money back right. Even if its years later. After all, the whole thing since LRH went off the lines, has become a mesh-mash of upgrades, cancellations, re-instatements, altered procedures, re-writes of books, check sheets and runways. In fact, I noticed that even the bridge has changed over the years.
With all the top tech trained staff declared, missions declared, field auditors declared, it is no wonder that we do not have a clear EP to many of the actions on the bridge. After all anybody that could have kept the tech lines the way LRH wanted them, was disposed of including Mary-Sue. Considering that DM himself is not an auditor, has no Admin training and is not himself an OT (guess he knows that what he now delivers doesn’t work and only screws you up), as well as a possible CIA/ IRS plant, and if you believe the article on the David Icke site, Israel and Russia wanting to use the tech for mind control, then it makes sense that what we have today in the church is specifically altered to no longer produce the results that LRH envisaged and our eternity has to be found outside in the free zone, regardless of how we chose to achieve it.