To be or not to be (anonymous)



By Frik Blaauw

Last week I had an appendectomy – and at the age of 66 that’s not a joke. And I’m
not sure whether the surgeon threw the correct part away, given how I feel.
Physically? OK. But otherwise . . .

You see the days before the medical stint started, the full realization of the betrayal of
the CoS, the staff, the auditors, the C/Ss, hit me. Betrayal once more.

I remember being so elated at St Hill in 2002. Happy. I was home – a safe haven.

Our realization in January this year of what has been happening, and Elma and my resignation from the Church and IAS, threw a very heavy blanket off our shoulders, and the light came in.

LRH’s tech has produced results we desire – and we believe that it is a way of life
that is a road to a higher state of being. So, Scientologists we are. LRH is our man.

Now, the topic I want to address today, is the use of all the blogs and the anonymity
of hiding behind pseudonyms. Ouch! Elma just kicked me on shin and reminded
me of the disconnection matter.

I ran this test the other day on a very good young man with a beautiful family. I
hypothecated to him that if he was to face a monstrous disaster wherein he had to
either not be able to save his youngest daughter’s life, but win reprieve for the rest of
the family, he responded that he simply could not see this little girl die. And when I
asked . . .and? He said “then we all die”. Now he is a Roman Catholic and does
not believe he is an immortal being – this is a one life trip for him. OK.

I know I’m an immortal being. I have travelled a bit to verify those things I uncovered
in sessions, and I’m talking about non-public records, buildings that have not stood
for a thousand years, but with records buried so deep not even the curator knew
about them. So, yes. I have lived before, and I will live again, and again.
And the question is, do I want to come back to in this hell-hole they call
Earth? Because the downward spiral is there.

And LRH’s tech can assist to retard and even reverse this trend – I believe that.

So, I’m told that the reason why the majority writers on this and other similar blogs
write not under their own names, is because of the fear of the disconnection from
friends and family. And they’re ‘still in the church’.

There is a reason why political voting systems don’t allow voter registration under
pseudonyms – it has to be your current real name. Can you imagine what could
ensue if we allowed all in SA to vote in the coming election using non-real names?
Well, my dear pseudonyms, that’s exactly what you’re doing right now! The world is
taking stock of how many are in and how many are out.

I couple this with the firm reality that I have had many sons, daughters, wives, and
mothers-in-laws. Many. What I am fighting for now, are those still to come! And in
the words of LRH, ‘if you think the Track has been long, look to the eternity facing
you.’ So, for the son I lose now, I hope to win ten thousand tomorrow in a free

Sitting on the fence vis a vis your official membership of the church and the IAS, and
yet displaying your covert unhappiness of affairs by participating on these blogs
might not be a healthy scenario, I would venture. Both internally and externally to

Earlier this week Mike Rinder reported about a recent briefing of Class VIIIs in LA, in
which altered-tech was thrust down their throats. And not one Class VIII stood up.
The delivery of upper levels tech in the church is now at its lowest point.

You know the story about boiling a frog . . . . .

I ask that you leap now. It is a better and safer place where you land, and there are
trained people around who can and will help you. Just ask.

Now I’m going to feed the garden birds.

87 thoughts on “To be or not to be (anonymous)

  1. Beautifully put, Frik. I got all that you said, all your intention. Bravo! And just to let you know, this Class VIII stood up, not recently, but back in 1996 when GAT first came out. I KR’ed it as a Tech Degrade. Man, did the proverbial sh*t hit the fan! But, here I am, with many tomorrows still to come, still auditing and C/Sing, and very much more alive! So I hope your message hits home and that the many will see we don’t have to waste this brief breath in eternity. 🙂
    Chris Black

  2. Fritz, it is a easy to see clearly when one has handled one’s own fears. When I first started writing under my own name I too was impatient with those who could not cast off their shackles and speak freely under their own names.
    Staying anonymous is not a lack of resolve, it can be a deliberate choice to allow a planned transition to occur from servitude to free citizen again. Only in the demented mind of the cult leaders is it possible to do things Now! Now! Now!
    In the real world, success is gained by hard work and PLANNING as well as brilliant execution.
    Staying under the radar and using a pseudonym may be the wisest choice when one’s livelihood is threatened because it is entwined with the Church of Scientology. Separating oneself from the entanglements of Scientology clients or employers can take years but it can be done when the will is there to achieve financial and personal freedom.
    There are staff, for instance, who have already made the decision to leave their organizations and find a new life outside the church but dare not let others know for fear of being imprisoned or beaten or both. These people are even now sending us information about the true state of affairs in the church as the madness grows and feeds on itself.
    Rail not at those who will not be named at this time. Let them work through their destinies and encourage them to seek help when it is safe for them to do so.
    I have quite a few clients who are still under the radar and their families and friends do not know they are getting auditing while they rebuild their lives and fortunes in a Scientology-free future.
    I am here to help all who need help recovering from their church experiences and I know they will be free to speak out once we handle the mental and financial barriers that keep them anonymous for now.

    • Thanks, David.
      ” when one’s livelihood is threatened because it is entwined with the Church”. Last time I looked at the Tone Scale, Propitiation was below 2 – the survival hurdle. You WON’T survive.
      And like I said about my appendix – removing it now was very painful and inconvenient to say the least. But it’s done – and was the right decision – I’m feeling better every minute I write on this blog, and can communicated with old hands like you, sir.

      • It is not propitiation to keep one’s job with a Scio boss until another job becomes available. There are many who do not have alternate work right now who must stick it out until they do. These people have familial and financial responsibilities.
        There are entities and situations one is extracating oneself from which must be done in such a way as to not hurt others and/or bring undue danger upon oneself or family members.
        Best not judge, I say.

      • Leaving the cult means you gain back the freedom to make your own choices, at your own self-determinism, with your own reality. It also allows you to again respect other beliefs and realities, without getting reprimanded physically or spiritually.

        People exercising this freedom is healthy. They can choose to announce themselves – or not. They can even choose to care – or not.

        I vote for freedom. To hell with living by other’s rules.


  3. I’m sorry but I disagree. I recall reading a comment some months ago on Mike Rinder’s wherein this person had gone public, duly been declared and announced that he with hindsight he now regretted his move. Whereas before he could influence people, now he was persona non grata as a person with a viewpoint that could simply be dismissed out of hand.
    That’s one point. Another (obviously I’m using a pseudonym) is that I do not believe I have the right – or that my personal integrity and honour is so important – to force various people to disconnect from each other just because of me. It is by no means just me that would be disconnected from. Yes, I’m aware that is nothing more that complete blackmail by church members, but it’s a reality. My observation is that church members are wholeheartedly enthusiastic about the idea of disconnecting – they seemingly are too impatient to even wait for someone to be expelled before they disconnect. They want to do it NOW, or even yesterday.
    Your analogy of a democratic election is entirely faulty – not using pseudonyms is to prevent cheating, and no consequences can attach to how one votes.
    In light of this I am prepared to do that most ‘cowardly’ of acts and compromise for the good of other people who mean far more to me than does Scientology at this point in history.
    I admire those who go under their own names but believe, 1. they’ve been expelled and have no choice; 2. those disconnecting from them are insufficiently important to them; or 3. they are such opinion leaders in Scn they need to. I fall into none of these categories but do apologise to the small number of exceptions there are bound to be.

    • Well said Sean. I agree with all you have said here. As you say, disconnection does not just affect one person. It tears families apart. It is very far reaching, as it was intended to be.
      I also have no interest in preserving Scn, so why should I endanger my relationships with people I care about? Scn has taken much more from me than it ever gave.
      I have no problem with people who believe in the tech. I do have a problem with people trying to enforce their viewpoint on others. We are not all in the same boat, Frik. While this blog might have been started as a place for non CoS Scientologists to air their views and tell their stories, it will evolve and change as it grows. That is the nature of blogs. People should be willing to hear what others have to say. That is how we grow – when we can listen to others and not shoot their beliefs down in flames. We all have wounds of one sort or another – the one thing most of us who comment here has in common is that we all were part of CoS. We have a lot to learn from one another.
      This debate about anonymity has come up on all the blogs – it is not going to go away until it becomes safe for all of us to show who we are.

    • They are not stupid or childish vinaire. Ask those who have not spoken to their children for decades. Your comment is an insult to the pain they have gone through. Not being able to speak to someone you love unconditionally has got to be one of the worst things to endure. Some compassion is appropriate.

      • Of course, the effects are real and painful. but those policies of disconnection are not produced by a mature brain.

  4. OP: “There is a reason why political voting systems don’t allow voter registration under pseudonyms – it has to be your current real name. Can you imagine what could ensue if we allowed all in SA to vote in the coming election using non-real names? Well, my dear pseudonyms, that’s exactly what you’re doing right now!”
    I don’t see the difference between voting with real names or pseudonyms provided the vote is secret and everybody vote only once.
    (In the internet blogs, even though anybody could change their name, the blog owner always knows their IPN – Internet Protocol Number – and can know the browser unique fingerprint. Only a techy may go to great lengths to hide his/her IPN and browser unique fingerprint).

  5. Good post Frik.
    I agree with you for the most part. The more that can confront coming out in their own name the better. I think a person will influence their friends much more by being open and honest about how they feel.
    Having said that I think that some need a “gradient”. I really think most people should be able to come out in a year or two.
    Let’s be honest too, some people are cowards and would rather let others take all the heat.

  6. Frik what you are saying is very true… I think there are so many people under the radar that if everyone who disagreed right now stood up and said” I am out” the church would collapse within a week. However this is easier said than done and it is easy for me to say as I was one of those in Sean on comment. We were declared and so it didn’t matter at all. However I have lots of friends who have stayed in under the radar and are fulfilling very important tasks for us, giving information and staying in comm with the few who are really too blind to look and need a bit of assistance. The minute we were declared all our comm lines with some very dear people and friends were cut dead, now if we had stayed under the radar, even for a short while I could have fed the truth to those few we left inside and made all our jobs easier. Family disconnection is an evil and terrible thing and if someone can avoid that by staying under the radar then I say that is okay… Just have a plan on making sure your family know the truth. We have a responsibility to keep feeding the truth to family and friend or this destruction of our religion will continue until the word Scientology is a complete laughing matter. There are not many brave thetans like you and for that you have our great admiration and respect. We need to chat.
    Love Ernest and Gaye

    • I would like to add that, whatever their individual reasons are, UDR’s are a 5th column that uses up church resources, and adds to the overall war effort.

    • Lovely response Gaye, and I agree. Sometimes, remaining “under the radar” is necessary while one establishes measures to safeguard family members and friends who could get caught on the cross-fire. This has happened to me – and it’s been ugly – to say the least. The venom, harassment and pure vindictiveness being spewed out by certain perpetrators is going to bounce back – tenfold.

    • I have a close friend to assist to get out. Most importantly, I have a family member to get out. This is no small feat, I can tell you, for reasons I can’t mention here.
      It is not my time to be overt about what I’m doing.
      I think what should be realised is that most UDRs, if not all, have indeed left the church – just not overtly, yet.

    • if everyone who disagreed right now stood up and said” I am out” the church would collapse within a week.
      Absolutely correct, Gaye. Even if only those who post to the blogs would shed their pseudonyms, the cult would collapse within weeks or months. All of the pain, threat, and fear, could be ended NOW if we all stood as one.
      I stood up and showed my face on the day I resigned from the church. Yes, my entire Scn family disconnected from me, as well as 95% of those I’d known for 40 years – but you know what? It was the right thing to do, and I don’t regret it. I know that I’ve made it more possible for those I love to escape, too.

    • Excellent comment, Gaye. I want to add that if you are UTR, do things to safepoint right now. Things like disconnecting yourself from Scns by just letting the comm lines die. That way they can’t use them to spy on you like they did with my friend of 30 years. And get out the truth to the others with anonymous hushmail accounts so that the KA drinkers get the data. And most of all try to work on your family first so that they come with you. And right before you come out, make up a letter like Debbie Cook did, and send it to all your people while you are still in good standing. I guarantee they’ll read it. Just know that after you send it, you’ll be declared and cut off. But do it. And get work elsewhere or new clients or something to make it OK to leave. And get money off account by buying things with it or asking for a refund. Get a statement from the church first so you have proof of what you have on account. But know that when you ask for a refund of money on account, you’ll be declared, unlike the old days where they followed LRH and gave you a refund and told you you could no longer do services. No declare then just for leaving.
      and lastly if you are UTR, go to events and things and leak word to Mike until you do come out. When you do finally come out, it is a big release and blow down and you have instant good friends in the Indie world. Not just fake good weather friends who will throw you under the bus in a heartbeat like the KA drinkers.

      • Very good post, Cindy, with excellent advice. It’s what I’m doing or planning to do. I’m out but not officially. I’ve cut the comm lines drastically, don’t participate in anything but I do have people to work on.
        It’s a strain pretending to them that all’s okay. They’re aware I have disagreements but it’s the elephant in the room.
        I’m looking forward to the day when the pretense is over and I don’t have to fence calls ever again. Soon!

  7. Good post Frik. I do disagree with you about Roman Catholics. They believe their soul is immortal. They believe that when they die – their soul goes to heaven or hell.
    I believe our souls are immortal and I am not a Roman Catholic nor am I any “religion”. I had certainty on my soul being immortal long before Scientology. Scientology did not prove anything to me about coming back. Now I doubt past lives.
    I got into Scientology so I could experience the “science” that we have lived before. My experience in Scientology did not validate my ‘past lives’. I mocked it all up! I am not convinced that seeing things in your mind is a science and proof that we have lived before. All I did is prove to myself that I have a vivid imagination. If one can prove to me someone knew their name before and there is a folder waiting for them to continue up the Bridge – then prove it. By the way – where is Ron? It has been 27 years since he died and I was told he would be back. Where is he? The old timers have told me he is coming back and the newbies have been told he is off on Target Two clearing that planet. What a bunch of confusing hogwash to keep the clubbed seals – clubbed!

    • Ron’s second coming is going to stretch like Jesus’s second coming… unfortunately… because those thetans have disintegrated and gone for ever long ago.

      • If he was back , do u think it would be broad public issue, ? Just maybe the big shack up is LRH himself and Dm is following source orders?

    • Thanks, Idle Morgue.
      Here’s the difference: I don’t have a soul. I AM THE SOUL. The RC’s believe their souls go to heaven – sure. The question is: where do THEY go? It gets encapsulated with statements like “I must save my soul”. Where is it, so I can save it? Right hand pocket?
      It’s all in the definition – and then a resultant composite that agrees with all our observations, and more importantly, indicates what will still found if looked where you haven’t looked before. And when you do that, and find what the defined composite ‘theory’ indicated you will find, then that composite theory must be true. And then test it again, and again.
      And you’re going to be forced not to use the term ‘soul’ as the spiritual component. LRH coined the term ‘thetan’.
      So, when you look at a past incident in session, that say happened in year 1424, in an exact spot in mid-England. Full details. Name. And you go there after the session, to that exact place, and dig up the history of that incident, and find the exact data as you recalled in session – doesn’t that confirm something to you? Especially as this piss-ant place doesn’t even feature on a local map, never mind had any historical significance, and so rules out having been in some book, or video you might have seen with your vivid imagination? After a number of such trips, I stopped trying to disprove what I had experienced in session.
      Take some trips, my friend.

      • Until I see proof – the past life stuff is just purely imagination. I
        got most of my past life ‘incidents’ from movies, pictures from books and mags and stories I heard.
        I made it all up depending on whatever emotion I was feeling. I would start out with a bucket and before long – I was working in a field as a slave…the year 1731 etc. It is bullshit to me! I still have not seen any scientific proof.
        Why did you not document your “trip” to prove your claim that you had this incident? Otherwise, one could think you read a lot of history books and knew of such incidents. How did come up with him being Budda? Was that science? How many other religious leaders think they are some God or medium? All cults have this in common.
        There is no science to past lives and there never has been. Please provide proof if you have it. If I don’t see the scientific proof – it is not real to me!
        Proof would be – you document the “session” right after you finish it. THEN you travel to the place and take videos to prove it.

      • Idle Morgue, I can agree with on the reality of past lifes. If you need proof, only you can answer your own question. What’s true for you is what you have observed. I will give you that. 🙂
        Much Like Frik, I too undertook a research of a past life. I was fortunate in that all the data I needed I found on the internet and in Biographies.It certainly confirmed the reality of past lifes (for me) and also lead me out of the church of scientology.

      • I hear you but when I look in the mirror – I see a human being fully equipped with emotions that are necessary to survive.
        THAT is what I went into Scientology to get help with – ME. I have a soul, I am a soul – who cares! All I wanted is to help me, my family and my group. If they helped me and my family – I would help them. I also wanted to give help to others.
        How does looking at myself as “I am a soul” verses “I have a soul” help?
        There is no scientific proof of a “spiritual condition” verses a “social tone level or condition” either. When people step into Scientology – their lives blow up. They are confused by all of this gibberish and are trained to look at everyone like they have two separate tone levels; spiritual and social. There is no science to this – it was more spinning to get people confused.
        Once I slipped into the abyss of Scientological thinking – it did not help me or my soul. It just created confusion.
        Me and my soul are safe now! We are out of that madness!

      • Frik, thanks for sharing. But Idle Morgue wants to see proof! Okay then, how about this little clip of 14.24. Google: Reincarnation. Evidence of past life.
        I don’t see how this little kid could have made this up. Check it out VERY carefully, Idle Morgue, and let us know if this satisfies your need for proof.

  8. Thank you all for your participation! Obviously a touching subject. Love it!
    Now, to those who don’t know how the electoral process works: you provide an identity document, and get registered before the elections. Then on voting day, you arrive at the polling station with your face and ID book, get marked off, and get your voting paper. Well that’s how it’s supposed to work, in SA anyway.
    But what you do beforehand, is go around to the rear of Roodepoort railway station, and buy another ID book for R148 (about US$14), with ANOTHER NAME on it! And depending on how much money you have, you simply keep on buying IDs – and they actually get registered in the national register! So, that identity has a right to vote! But it’s the same body! (And let’s not get into the crap about chemical markings at the voting station . . . I got 100% for chemistry in the three years I spent in standard seven.)
    And I can email you all some beautiful examples of such IDs. A classical one has a white caucasian woman’s face photo on it with a male Xhosa name. And legal and registered! Remember, this is South Africa. So, my example of voting is against this background. And it’s not secret either in your country, MaBű. And it’s not the blog owner who needs to see – it’s the impression created out there to the greater wide world. They only see the false names.
    Back to the anonymity issue: church member X indicates (votes) to the church that he is a full supporting member, using one identity. Then on blogs he uses another identity. He’s ‘counted twice’. And on another blog – another name – three times now.
    The only time I got into trouble on my Track is when I bullshitted myself. At the time I might not have realized that – but it sure was confirmed later. And that’s all I’m saying my friends.
    I’ve had the undesired task to put men in mortal danger in order to save many more. And I did that in a billionth of a second, without a second thought. And I never lost any men – but certainly saved a couple of dozen from certain death. And the more we did that, the more successful we became in achieving our objectives. Those days might have installed a decision making process in me that surely made the analytically mind work overtime – but we survived. And I learnt from that.
    So, the moment I saw that I was being betrayed by Co$, I resigned. Instantly. The feeling afterwards, as I said then, was great. A good sign.
    And I recognize that it can be a most difficult time in some families to disconnect formally. Yes. But like my appendix – I had to remove it some time soon, or continue the continual poisoning of my body.
    I feel so much better – and the little garden birds have eaten, and going to sleep as the sun sets here in southern Africa.

      • Heh, buddy. I love my appendix. Been with me for 66 years!
        And yes, seriously – we have disconnected with a child who is in the church.

      • Hey Draco, mind if I chime in? The “disconnection” of a child could/should more aptly be compared to the heinous practice of ‘sheeple farming’ where the tool of choice is the CO$ perfected “MIND CONTROL” courtesy of it’s perfector, David Miscavige.

  9. Hi Frik, lovely post. I think it is a matter of individual choice and circumstance. When I first got out I was under the radar for short period for a specific reason, and when the reason fell away, I felt I could almost not wait to vociferously announce my departure. I was declared within days of having done so. I have no regrets.
    I don’t mind what UTR’s do in this regard. I just know this house of cards is coming down and I know which side of the divide I fall on. But one cannot know all the circumstances of everyone.
    What I DO think is a great idea, is that once you have decided to give out your name, put it on Steve Hall’s list. When I first woke up it was a list that made a huge impact on me. If you look at the number of years invested, the years in the Sea Org and on staff, the time and training invested, the OTs , the auditors the C/Ses, the donors. Everyone on that listed was well and truly invested in the subject and yet something made each one walk away. It was something that really made me look. So the more names on that list, the more people will look. It is called the Indy 500 and there are 475 names so far. That’s a fortune of people. If you don’t want to be googled on the list you can always put your n.a.m.e. like that to protect it from general snooping.
    I printed the list and highlighted all the OT V and above, all the Sea org longer than 10 years, all the staff longer than 10 years, all the CSs and all the big donors. There was hardly a white space left on the sheet.

    • We’re DEFINITELY on the same page, Wendy!
      –Calvin B. Duffield, Durban (come & get me, whoever, wherever, however, whenever!) 😉

  10. Frik,
    We already had a major flame war on this a couple of years back on Marty’s blog.
    I suggest we not reignite the same ol’ controversy.
    The reason many stay “under the radar” are many and personal and while those who post out in the open are the foot soldiers the ones behind the lines posting under pseudonyms like for example “Mike’s Moles” are just as valuable as well in this battle for the soul of Scientology.

    • You’re absolutely right about the moles. And that war was as you say, a couple of years ago. Static since then? I don’t think so.
      Do an analysis of all the blog writers – real names and UTRs, and the numbers tell a confusing story – and I just want to say it’s OK to come out, if you can.
      And how long does it take to plan the extraction of a loved one? Another ten years? Because some of those old names are still making the same noises on these blogs, pal. Ten years!
      And of course we have the OSA moles adding to the confusion and playing the field we create.
      We’re engaged in a war, not a Sunday school picnic.

      • Frik,
        I agree somewhat.
        But the fact is that we’ve been engaged in a civil or uncivil war ever since Scientology was taken over by the CMOI junta.
        It’s been what?
        Over 30 years now.
        OSA I hate to admit was smart in the beginning by going after the OLs in the independent field at the time though its obvious they’ve over reached and now are experiencing the blow back of their own actions.
        Far be it for me to say that aside from all the out tech and off policy going on in what now is what I call the Government Approved Squirrel Group is the conflict which must have a 3rd party of some kind.
        Just who it is. Some of us have conjectured but are dismissed as wacky KorNsPiRaCy theorists etc and prefer what I call the “lone Dave theory” and just by going all Nancy Reagan and standing up and saying “NO” to Scientology on drugs is somehow gonna fix it.
        Sure whatever.
        But anyway those of us who have stepped out of that squirrel cage are fine but it’s still the people that are in who need the whistle blowers to tell ‘em what is really going on.
        So no I don’t see posting out in the open is in anyway productive unless it includes the voices of those who are still in.
        That’s why I think blogs like this one and Mike’s are important.
        Like me in the past at one time I used to lurk on sites like ARS and OCMB. Commonly referred to as “hate sites” but were the only alternative to the PR (as in lies) and perception management generated by the Church.
        That’s why we *in my opinion* must make those who post anonymously welcome and not demand that they come out of the closet.

      • “We’re engaged in a war, not a Sunday school picnic.” You see, Frik, THIS is what I am no longer interested in. Or one of the many things. While I am under the radar, I have helped several people get out. If I had been declared, they might not have spoken to me and still be in. We all serve a purpose in whatever way we can. And there are many who have walked away completely – I say good for them!
        However – I want to be here when this all ends. That’s why I stay on the blogs, even though I no longer am interested in any form of scientology. I have put myself on a different spiritual path which is working very well for me. The reason I want to see it all end is that so many people have been horribly abused and some damaged for decades of their lives.
        As I have never been a big fish, putting my name out there will really not make a big difference and it will put me and people I know in harm’s way. I think we need to get out of the warlike mindset, which is VERY Miscavige like, in my opinion, and extend a welcoming hand to all. When those who are lurking see demands to expose everyone, it could scare them off. The first 2 years that I was “out”, I had no-one to talk to. I had to go through it alone and it was very hard. People coming out now, or even getting declared now have a good support system in place, which does help.
        I am with Remoteviewed on this where we welcome all and make them comfortable. There are huge issues for people to work out after leaving – this should be a place where they can read about and discuss these issues.
        It should definitely NOT resemble a war zone.

    • I agree with Remoteview and Draco. There are many ways to fight a war.
      Using excess force is not needed, and under the caution that one becomes what one resists, force becomes too tempting.
      And besides, “Granting Beingness” is letting them decide on their own, in a safe space.

  11. Ah yes, Frik….jy is ‘n man, vir seker! in order to be one, you have to have courage! Same for a woman! We’re not talking about something very common in mankind. at a wild guess, probably about 80% of the human population sit at fear (1.0). That leaves around 20% who would be able to be classified as having courage. I believe it is this small proportion, who actually set the example for others to follow. Wartime enlistments, where courage was mandatory for engaging battle, is seldom given much thought these days. Pity, since those brave souls who both perished or survived to tell their tales, faced death in the face on a daily basis. Our local men in blue, and your local security guards, still do the same today.
    My point is simply to realize, that it is ONLY fear, which keeps people trapped, in a feeling of helplessness, or worse, paralysis!! One way to overcome fear, is to stare death in the face, (confront it) on a regular basis. I can assure you, it is very doable, and something I do on a regular basis, in my working environment. For those not so inclined, one can tackle fear on a gradient!!! For example, self defense classes, practice on a shooting range, hang around with some bouncers, or “amenable” gangsters, by befriending them, and seeing life from their viewpoint, where violence to “them”, is just another tool to achieve an end. My own flesh and blood are right in there as seasoned police officers.
    In short, one needs to realize fully, that it is essential to conquer one’s basic fear/s, in order to rise above it/them. Courage, it can be proven, is a tool of choice, to achieve that.
    Calvin B. Duffield, Durban.

  12. Are you seriouosly asking us to forsake present-lifetime children for the children/family yet to come? Perhaps I have misinterpreted your post. If you are asking me to forsake my present children, then I guess I know why the world outside thinks Scientologists are nuts.

    • Also, I am not in such agreement that the church is about to collapse. In the ’80s, I think it was, LRH declared 600 top notch people, including successful mission holders of some years standing, in a fit of peak because many disagreed with the methods in which they were being treated. It didn’t rock the church, not at all.
      Then the ‘kids’, recruited by LRH himself, came into Int Management and behaved like the SS. They were Norman Starkey, DM, Yager, Mittoff, ED Int – five to start off with. The church still stands.
      There will always be new poeple coming in who will buy the bs and, like us, take 20 years of more to find out they’re being hoodwinked. I hope I’m wrong.
      From the ’90s, I’ve been waiting for the fall of the psychs that we’ve been promised. Not going to happen, not if Scientology has anything to do with it. Promises, promises.
      I would love to see a might collapse but at best it will peter out until DM thinks of something new to perk it up with.

      • ” It didn’t rock the church, not at all.” GC880 – yes it did rock the church. Big time! I was there, and although I was not aware of the numbers declared, I knew things were a bit nuts. At that point, the fun went out of scn totally and never really returned, no matter how hard some people tried to pretend. Not saying there wasn’t shit before then, there was – but it wasn’t as pervasive as after this time.

  13. David St Lawrence aka Old Auditor (December 17, 2013 at 1:45 am) has made an interesting comment in this blog:
    “Those who try to impose their own viewpoints on others should take a look at what it is the greatest good for the greater number of dynamics FOR THE PERSON INVOLVED.
    I have a respectably sized practice, 40 odd active clients on 5 continents and a good percentage of them are still under the radar for very good reasons. Some have family on staff or children on staff or share child support responsibilities with people still active in the church.
    The Safe Point policy applies to independents as well as Scientologists. One can speak up and make valid points as an anonymous voice. Galactic Patrol is in good company with thousands of highly active anonymous ex church members and should stay under the radar until he or she feels free to come out and declare his or her identity to the world.
    I feel that anyone who criticizes others for not coming out is not following the Auditor’s Code and is more likely still dramatizing some of the church identity we try to remove over time.
    Save your energy for auditing people and helping them recover from church indoctrination. There is plenty of work to do and we do not need to repeat the errors of the cult we escaped from.”
    Here is an interesting article about the Safe Point:

    • Galactic Patrol came out a few months ago. He has made videos and writes on ex scientology message board, Mike Rinder’s Blog and Karen’s and Tony Ortega’s The Underground Bunker. He is courageous and is delivering appropriate blows to the cult! Google: Chris Shelton! He has some clout because he was in the Sea Org for 20 plus years and worked in the “higher management strata”.
      I think those that have tenure and clout do the most damage by going public. But if they don’t want to lose family, they should stay under the radar. I do feel they can do some serious damage by staying under the radar and contributing to the motion of leaking out information about the dwindling spiral of Scientology or perhaps asking Scientologist’s questions to poke holes in their hard, titanium bubble think implanted by COB’s propaganda!

    • Hear, hear, Mabu! We’ve just left an authoritarian culture that dictates and doesn’t leave room for power of choice – in fact, it scorns it. If you don’t agree, you are wrong and have CI! And you need ethics.
      Good to mention the Auditor’s Code. Very good point. Let people do things the way that is good for them without evaluation or invalidation.

      • The two shuns; evaluation and invalidation – ref. PDCs. LRH was putting together the Auditor’s Code but announced that this rule applied to Scientologists in general.

  14. Hot subject, hotter responses by all. In or out, stealth mode or no, the idea of everyone under the radar right now coming out leaves me breathless!! What would the actual figures be? 50%, 20% maybe 80% of all churchies? How many SO staff in africa have serious doubts? How bout org staff here too? Revolutions never started by a dictator volunteering to step down after suppressing the people. It took the collective to rise on up and say in one voice – enough! We have had enough, down you go! Why should there even be a debate about are you in, out, undercover or standing next to the closset in your operation clam bake underware!
    No one should have to be bound to a criminal organisation out of fear of loosing loved ones – no one!!

    • My sentiments exactly, sheeplebane. My point made earlier, highlights exactly what a huge impediment FEAR can be! Freed from its paralyzing effects, whichever route achieves that end, can extrovert the attention and make way for some innovative and creative solutions. Using some simple analogies, if one had a motor accident, or a bad marriage, and was thereafter in fear of ever driving, or getting married again, respectively, this emotion can cripple one’s future so unnecessarily. Plainly, in my view, the thing to handle is the ‘crippling’ emotion, causing the shut down of action in the situation, or in life (the held down 7). Would you agree?
      Ironically, I remember some simple advice given to us by Owen Starkey, in the mid seventies, while he was in Durban Org: …. “What’s the best antidote for worry? — DO something!”

      • Fully! 🙂 End the fear, end the control!
        There must be more out here who feel like they want to do more! Lively debate must surely be a preamble to decisive action! If the outies ever decided to get organised and unite against the common foe, ole Davie boy may have more to quiver about. I wonder if this keeps him up at night? The rabble rousers rallying around his former generals to depose him..uneasy lies the head..

  15. Being UTR gives me some perspective I like to think. I am all over the place – occasionally I can still wander into the org, I meet onliners and am amazed how often their first question is what’s happening outside the church; I’ve done ‘squirrel’ auditing and found it little different from the church-authorised and endorsed official DM version; and have had dealings with Ron’s Org. In most of the independent field, the tone and acceptance level is that which I first found when I came into Scn itself – welcoming, friendly and simply wanting to help with little or no talk of money.
    The dealings I have with RCS and more radical membership (is there any other any more?) is that there is no help flow. It’s fear: it’s preconditions and pre-requisites; its forms and legal agreements; it’s ‘you’re either with us all the way or you’re against us’. What does that sound like – stop after stop. Hell, people who owe me money quite legitimately and agreed in writing won’t pay until I live up to their expectations of what a TRUE Scn should be. Of course, what that means is any money they repay should flow straight to the RCS. So it’s not worth pursuing, is it?

  16. Good morning all!
    Thank you all again for getting into communication. It was as predicted – hot stuff. Much has been aired, and I do respect and grant beingness to you all, regardless of your positions in this saga. Even the OSA guys . . .

    But can we now move on to some new stuff.

    I wish you all a super, super day.

  17. Thanks for your post Frik. I do agree with what you are saying but also understand completely the difficulties involved for many. What if we created another blog/website where people could add their names, real OR anonymous but they also have to state if they are under the radar or officially resigned, declared, etc. They wouldn’t have to give their email address or even register on the site so it would be totally confidential. This would give an indication as to how many people are actually pretending to be part of the church. This would be for South Africa only. I don’t know if many people would take part but it would be interesting to see.

  18. I’m a bit let in the game here and not sure if this will be seen, but hey.
    Frik. You make some good points, but, each of us has a different scene. Undars can come out whenever they feel best. No sooner.
    Interesting phenomenon I notice, at times, is that as the comments fly and the days go by the presence on a blog can be generalized to all of life. The blog is not life. It is a momentary point of communal comm.
    What we do thereafter is life. If someone delivers tech everyday and just gets on with it, and chooses to remain under, that’s fine with me.
    We need people to come out and say who they are. Equally, we need people to remain under and give us the dope.
    This under who are reorganizing their lives, do so for very pertinent and deeply felt a sons. I say to them. Thank you for being under and thank for commenting and creating an eclectic gaggle of participants. You are helping me by being under but commenting. If you are only able to read these comments. Thank you for doing so.
    If you have openly declared yourself. hello and thank you. You are helping me.
    It is a co-action affair and I appreciate every angle.

  19. Hey guys. Well, since I came up in some comments, I’ll chime in.
    I originally started posting anonymously on ESMB last summer under the pseudonym “ihateduplicity”. I did this because I had a 2D and other Scn connections who were important to me and I was trying to stay in good graces with the Church for the sake of maintaining those comm lines. But I couldn’t sit idly by with what I was learning on the Internet and say nothing. The feelings of loss and betrayal were too strong and I needed an outlet to express them.
    I was found out by OSA and busted for my posts despite my efforts to maintain anonymity. Even after being busted, I still wanted to try to salvage things for the sake of my 2D and my connections and I played good with the Church, stopped posting and started doing A-E steps after confessing to my “crimes”. All for the sake of keeping those connections because my 2D (a Church staff member) was more important to me than anything else, even my freedom of speech.
    Once I had confessed and they had the goods on me, they worked her over and she disconnected from me. And on that day I died a little.
    I contacted the Church terminal overseeing my A-E steps and told him to shove them up his ass and that I was done with the Church forever. A week later, he called to let me know verbally that I was declared suppressive, and that I was not going to be shown the issue.
    It was around that time when I started posting as Galactic Patrol, since the old pseudonym was dead and also because I had changed a lot since the “ihateduplicity” times. My effort now was to reach those who were still in and get them the truth of what was going on, just as I had discovered for myself in reading other people’s stories on the ‘net.
    Once I had handled things with my non-Scn bosses and non-Scn friends so I felt I was in a secure place with them, I agreed to be interviewed by Karen Delacarriere (a truly wonderful person) and I “came out into the light” under my own name.
    I have no regrets about what I’ve done. I had good reasons for staying anonymous and I had good reasons for coming out. Each in its own time. I understand the viewpoints of those who stay UTR and I don’t fault them.
    At the same time, I agree that if everyone would cast off the cloaks and come out in the open under their real names, RCS would reel from the blow and would never be the same again. It could easily be the killing stroke that is needed right now, as I’m sure it would be quite a “shock and awe” to reveal everyone who is currently “in” who is really “out”. But there is uncertainty and doubt and reservation in that, and so we will continue our war of attrition. I agree with Frik’s view that it is a kind of war we are fighting.
    I’m not pushing anyone for or against on this. It’s an individual’s decision to make based on his own life, his own situation and his own purposes. I don’t consider myself a brave or courageous person. I consider myself, deep down, a very angry person who was wronged by an oppressive organization led by a sociopathic madman who has no regard for anything but his own self-aggrandizement and is using his thousands of followers to line his wallet on the spoils of their hard work and dedication. I cannot state strongly enough how I actually feel about the betrayal and loss I have suffered in the past year at the hands of the “most ethical people on the planet”.
    I don’t think I’ll be doing this for the rest of my life. What I do is cathartic for me just as much as it is for those I’m trying to reach. When I’m finished healing and I have satisfied myself that I’ve done real good and “delivered an effective blow” against this corrupt organization and its maniacal leader, I will be done. I encourage anyone reading this to do the same.
    Whether under your own name or that of a pseudonym, standing up and speaking out is important. Together we can win.

    • Thank you Chris. Yes, it would be wonderful if everyone stood up at once and said “Enough!”. But that is not going to happen in the near future as far as I can see. The lives of Scientologists are so interwoven with other scientologists all over the world. Even if a revolt could be organised in one town or city, the clampdown in the rest of the world would be so fast and furious that people again would find themselves disconnected from their loved ones. Personally, I think and I have said this many times, that no dramatic action is needed. Just stop supporting them in any way whatsoever. Don’t go on course, don’t pay money, don’t go to events. The more people doing that, the more pressure will be put on those left in to keep the boat afloat. And they will slowly get pissed enough to also leave.
      All these dramatics and talk of war is just silly. Those who want to practise scn, go ahead and do your thing. For those lurking – just stop the support. The church cannot stay alive with no money coming in. Simple as that.

      • You’re totally right Draco. The war is one of words ans ideas and freedom.I certainly didn’t mean to imply or insinuate anything more drastic.

      • You are so right Draco – just withdraw all support. Remember doing “call in” and no one would answer the phone. You would cringe and hope they wouldn’t – because we all had the antagonistic ones that blast you for calling! But the end result was apathy – no one is coming in. Drive them into apathy by withdrawing all support. I only did call in once and never again! It sucked! LOL

    • Wonderful expression of your true sentiments, Chris! On reflection, I agree, that the brazen approach is not for everyone. And I concur with you, when you do step into the bright sunshine, what a wonderful,liberating experience.
      Your recent video was very sobering and brilliant to watch, btw. and I salute you for your articulate handling of what must have been literally the reliving of hell! Ultimately though, one only receives the liberating warmth of the sun, when one finally DECIDES to, then does, step out from the shadows.
      Thanks again for your pitch Chris,
      –Calvin, Durban.

  20. Thank you Chris – great post! Thank you for Video 2 posted on Tony Ortega’s Blog. It was excellent!
    BTW – Two more announce their public departure today on Mike Rinder’s Blog – Bob and Sharon Graham. Read about their daughter being forced to disconnect and their up the Bridge, down the Bridge – spin – spin – spin – round and round the maniacal madhouse of Scientology!

    • IM,
      Right I started reading BG’s post and then cut to the chase.
      To me he reads much like many *Ex* Scientologists you see posting on ARS, OCMB and of course the ESMB.
      Scientology is all bad. Ron was a con artist, etc. Yet he spent 35 years in the Church to come to this conclusion.
      Yeah whatever.
      Mike has every right to post his message on his blog and of course BG has a right to say what he wants even if it includes promoting gross out tech like going to websites which contain Advanced Course data.
      He also promotes such as canards as Ron saying that you will die of pneumonia by being exposed to these things which he never said but it doesn’t seem to stop people from saying he said it.
      Much like Miscavige claiming he is somehow channeling the Ol’man by saying his or whoever is advising him that these tech alterations like GAT and its sequel are “LRH’s Intention” or whatever.
      But anyway.
      Truth be told no where in the HCOPL Security of Data does he say that you will die of pneumonia or any other strange illness by viewing leaked Confidential Data.
      Nor does he say that you will die if you read OT III in RJ 67 or in any of the Advanced Courses material I’ve personally covered.
      But like any Level on the Grade Chart run out of sequence. It will make your case more difficult to audit ,harder to repair only more so and thus almost impossible to salvage by any but a highly skilled auditor who is familiar with OT reviews.
      I mean if that’s what you want then by all means follow his advice.
      Personally I find that kind of “advice” similar to promoting the use of mescaline in auditing because it restimulates prenatals.
      He also goes on how unreal OT III supposedly is yet the fact is there is wilder stuff in History of Man.
      Like anything in Dianetics and Scientology. It is not so much to do with the incidents involved like for example prenatals or past lives in general but the techniques evolved to handle these things.
      I’ve audited PCs on Dianetics who even though they ran a past life incident almost with full revivification still didn’t believe their was any such thing and thus would assign some other cause for the mysterious crick in their back miraculously vanishing.
      Far be it for me as the person’s auditor to evaluate the causal relationship for him or her.
      Fact is the somatic was gone.
      But I digress.

      • RV, you give the most sensible advice of anyone who contributes on these blogs. I always look out for your comments, and this one is very important. I have long ‘had the idea’ LRH said you would get sick or die if you mess with the Advanced materials. On the other hand, I looked at some of the fucked up solo auditing I believe I did especially on OT3 when I was really clueless – and no consequences whatsoever. It was one of the many things that made me doubt.

      • It’s interesting to see some of the main enablers of the destruction of the “church” now disavow being Scientologists. More than interesting actually but rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things.
        Whether someone chooses to use their real identity or not, at this point in time, is likewise relatively unimportant.
        We all pick our strategies and are doing our best to make the best of it.
        From my perspective, we’ve already won.
        LRH was the pivot point for the reversal of the downward spiral and once he “let the cat out of the bag” so to speak, no one and no thing could ever stop the inevitable outcome. i.e. we win – enslavers lose.

      • David LaCroix: “From my perspective, we’ve already won.”
        I’m glad to read that somebody knowledgeable, like you, has this perspective (contrary to popular belief). Will you please expand and clarify why.

  21. In my view, at this juncture in time, when the corrupt church uses blackmail to coerce and control and silence people, I could not care less if people are under the radar or not.
    The important thing is making sure that help, comm lines, standard auditing and training is available to people. Every person that has reached our to Milestone Two in the last year just wanted to get some help or have a terminal. Every one needed to get out tech sorted out and the mysteries and confusions sorted out.
    Whether they use their name on public blogs or not is irrelevant. Most of those on our lines don’t post at all and are just trying to get their lives sorted.
    So the answer is BE whoever you want to be, but stay true to yourself.

  22. To be, or not to be …
    When one has nothing left to hide, or left to loose; when one has fearlessly laid bare ones soul – picked apart to the bone by auditing or sec. checking, and emerged from the valleys and shadows of death – ‘who’ exactly can again entrap such a soul?
    The answer can be found in these words of William Ernest Henley ….
    Out of the night that covers me,
    Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
    I thank whatever gods may be
    For my unconquerable soul.
    In the fell clutch of circumstance
    I have not winced nor cried aloud.
    Under the bludgeoning’s of chance
    My head is bloody, but unbowed.
    Beyond this place of wrath and tears
    Looms but the Horror of the shade,
    And yet the menace of the years
    Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.
    It matters not how strait the gate,
    How charged with punishments the scroll.
    I am the master of my fate:
    I am the captain of my soul.

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