By Tony DePhillips
I think one thing that might make it hard for some people who left or got booted out of Corporate Scientology is the lack of a game.
While inside the “church” I was fully engulfed in the game of “going free”, “going OT”, “Clearing the planet”, whatever you might want to call it.
After I wrote my letter of resignation to the “church” I felt a loss of a game. Sort of a “what do I do now?” feeling.
This is when I started to examine what game I was playing and what game would I now play. For me the main game I was playing was “ going free”. What this meant for me was an escape from the seriousness of having a meat body and the life and death cycle. I felt that the only way to do this was with and through Scientology.
I no longer think that.
My mother was not a Scientologist. She and I had many long talks about it and she started to believe in past lives from talking to me about it even though she was a Christian.
Later on her life my mom had many physical illnesses and I started to think she was a hypochondriac.
One day my mom called me up and asked me to come and visit her in Arizona as she wasn’t sure how much longer she would be around. I thought this was more hypochondriac type behavior and I was on OT7 so I politely declined. A couple of weeks later one night as I was getting ready for bed I felt an odd confusion and my space felt very black. This was a foreign feeling to me, this particular feeling. I sensed it had something to do with my Mom. The next day my dad called me and told me my mom had a stroke and was in a hospice center and didn’t have long to live.
I flew to Arizona right away and when I got to my mom’s room she was lying down and appeared unconscious. I started to talk to her and it was easy since we were very close and we both loved each other very much. As I talked to her she started moving her body around even though she was “unconscious”. I sensed that she knew what I was saying so I kept talking to her. I felt that she wanted to say something to me but couldn’t, so I just kept talking. All of a sudden she sits up and looks me right in the eyes. She couldn’t talk, but she looked at me as she had never looked at me before. I felt she was “downloading” into me all the love she felt for me and was saying her goodbyes to me. Very powerful.
The next couple of days passed and nothing eventful happened. Then the next time I came to visit her my older sister was there too. For some reason I “knew” that my mother was going to pass away in the next bit of time. I don’t know how I knew it but I did. My mom was lying there with a sheet over her and no wig on or make up, just as she was. My sister and I started to tell her how we loved her and what a great job she had done as a mom. We both started to cry and were watching her breathe slower and slower, as we continued the validations and reassurances of her. I was consumed in my own grief when she took her final breath. All of a sudden I perceived her shoot out of the body and it seemed I heard her shout “Yahooooo!!” in extreme enthusiasm. I was very shook up and left.
Later I talked to my sister and she felt that she had perceived the exact same thing as me. My sister is not a Scientologist.
My conclusion and why I brought this up is that I have a firm belief that there is life after death.
That was the most spiritual experience of my life and I had gone up to OT7 in the “church”.
My game now is to enjoy life. Do things, have fun, if you want to get auditing then great. If you want a house, then play that game. The important part is to enjoy yourself. I think everyone will be separated from their body at some point and I do think that your state of mind when you leave is important. Don’t be festered up with overts and don’t be PTS to some cult trying to bully you into doing with your life what they want you to.
I still believe that people are basically good and will do things as ethically as possible. They will not always succeed but I think most will try their best. LRH talked about the spirit of play. I always liked that concept.
Does life have to be so serious?
There seems to be good reason for it being serious, but if you look a little deeper, maybe all these “serious” human situations are all “games” and don’t really matter that much. Just as my mom was riddled with illness and had ceased to enjoy life many years earlier, when I saw her escape the body and her elation, I knew there was hope. That is my reality at least and may not be yours.
That was something my mom taught me. Thanks Mom!! I love you! Wherever and whoever you might be now.