After the seriousness of the last post we felt that a little light relief may be in order. This was sent to us which we felt was perfect to lift the mood. To state the obvious, please note that this is a work of satire.
Recent research and compilation of LRH’s hitherto undiscovered hand-written scraps has led to a technical breakthrough that resulted in major changes in the structure of the emotional tone scale.
It is now official Church Policy that FEAR be the uppermost tone level for all Scientologists, staff and public.
It is further official Church Policy that the following tone levels (including all the shades between) are canceled henceforth:
SERENITY OF BEINGNESS
PAIN ANGER NO SYMPATHY COVERT HOSTILITY
In keeping with Inspector General Network Bulletin Number 39, entitled “Your Progress to OT (Arbitraries Cancelled)” Dated 6 June 99, every Scientologist must fully understand the rationale behind the cancellation of the above tone levels, so that no one should harbor any critical thoughts as if this cancellation was arbitrary in any way.
Hence, the rationale for the cancellation is hereby explained:
SERENITY OF BEINGNESS
Was found to be a higher harmonic of APATHY, not a tone level by itself.
Postulates is not a tone level but a prerogative reserved exclusively to International Management.
Is not a tone level but a prerogative reserved exclusively to International Management to initiate and enforce. No individual Scientologist may start a game on his/her own accord.
Is not a tone level but any order issued by International Management to be obeyed and followed. No individual Scientologist, staff member or public, may initiate an action on his/her own accord.
Is not a tone level by itself but a display of approval in response to speeches made by COB in events, announcing new breakthroughs. Display of Exhilaration is compulsory by all attendants at such events.
Was found to be a false tone. The correct name for this emotional state is GLEE. Glee, as we know, is not a tone level, but a seriously undesirable state that needs to be eradicated in processing.
Can be displayed in all tone levels and is not a distinct tone level by itself. If carried to excess, may be actionable by HCO Sec Check on the grounds of “asking too many questions”.
Is a higher harmonic of FEAR, not a tone by itself.
Is a state of being, can be manifested in many tone levels.
Is actually a misdemeanor per HCO POLICY LETTER OF 7 MARCH 1965 Issue III OFFENSES & PENALTIES and includes non-compliance, discourtesy and insubordination, disturbing a course or class, and disrupting a meeting. It includes all forms of criticism of, and defiance toward, management in general. Antagonism is actionable by HCO Sec Check and if recurring, by Committee of Evidence, and may lead to suspension of certificates and even expulsion.
Is a physical sensation, not an emotional tone level.
Is a crime as per HCO POLICY LETTER OF 7 MARCH 1965 Issue III OFFENSES & PENALTIES and includes, but not limited to, mayhem, failure or refusal to acknowledge, relay or execute a direct legal order from an International Board Member, inciting to insubordination, spreading destructive rumours about senior Scientologists, and can also amount to Suppressive acts which are considered HIGH CRIMES per HCO PL 23 Dec 1965RB, Rev 8 Jan 1991 SUPPRESSIVE ACTS and HCO Policy Letters March 7, 1965, Issues I and II HIGH CRIMES, with all attendant penalties.
Is not a tone level by itself but a form of suppressed ANGER.
Is a manifestation of FEAR and henceforth included in the tone level of FEAR as an inseparable part thereof.
THE NEW OFFICIAL TONE SCALE
The new, updated tone scale is hereby presented and instituted. It is in full compliance with current Church Policy.
For brevity sake, only the main tone levels are given here. For a complete list of tone levels below FEAR, please refer to the updated HCO BULLETIN OF 25 SEPTEM3ER l971RB REVISED 1 APRIL 1978, RE-REVISED 2 AUGUST 2014 TONE SCALE IN FULL:
The top 3 tone levels – FEAR, SYMPATHY and PROPITIATION are, naturally, the most desirable ones for the parishioner. They ensure constant compliance, obedience, and a steady stream of donations from the parishioner to our Holy Mother Church.
GRIEF is a state of regret, following penalties inflicted for violating the state of PROPITIATION. It requires dropping down to MAKING AMENDS to atone for one’s failure to donate. If the person fully completes his formula of MAKING AMENDS, he may then rise to the next higher tone. If he fails to do so, he will drop to APATHY and then DEATH, as his eternal salvation is forfeited.
All Scientologists will stop using the old tone-scale as of date of this bulletin, and will destroy all copies and materials of the old tone scale. Posters of the new tone scale are now ready to be shipped and be posted in every Org and Mission in prominent places. Failure to comply will constitute a HIGH CRIME and invoke a Committee of Evidence against the person\s responsible for the omission.
Applying the new, updated tone-scale is our guarantee of the continued flourishing and prospering of the Church of Scientology.