A new bulletin

After the seriousness of the last post we felt that a little light relief may be in order.  This was sent to us which we felt was perfect to lift the mood. To state the obvious, please note that this is a work of satire.

MCO Bulletin of August 2nd, 2014

Recent research and compilation of LRH’s hitherto undiscovered hand-written scraps has led to a technical breakthrough that resulted in major changes in the structure of the emotional tone scale.

It is now official Church Policy that FEAR be the uppermost tone level for all Scientologists, staff and public.

It is further official Church Policy that the following tone levels (including all the shades between) are canceled henceforth:



In keeping with Inspector General Network Bulletin Number 39, entitled “Your Progress to OT (Arbitraries Cancelled)” Dated 6 June 99, every Scientologist must fully understand the rationale behind the cancellation of the above tone levels, so that no one should harbor any critical thoughts as if this cancellation was arbitrary in any way.
Hence, the rationale for the cancellation is hereby explained:

Was found to be a higher harmonic of APATHY, not a tone level by itself.

Postulates is not a tone level but a prerogative reserved exclusively to International Management.

Is not a tone level but a prerogative reserved exclusively to International Management to initiate and enforce. No individual Scientologist may start a game on his/her own accord.

Is not a tone level but any order issued by International Management to be obeyed and followed. No individual Scientologist, staff member or public, may initiate an action on his/her own accord.

Is not a tone level by itself but a display of approval in response to speeches made by COB in events, announcing new breakthroughs. Display of Exhilaration is compulsory by all attendants at such events.

Was found to be a false tone. The correct name for this emotional state is GLEE. Glee, as we know, is not a tone level, but a seriously undesirable state that needs to be eradicated in processing.

Can be displayed in all tone levels and is not a distinct tone level by itself. If carried to excess, may be actionable by HCO Sec Check on the grounds of “asking too many questions”.

Is a higher harmonic of FEAR, not a tone by itself.

Is a state of being, can be manifested in many tone levels.

Is actually a misdemeanor per HCO POLICY LETTER OF 7 MARCH 1965 Issue III OFFENSES & PENALTIES and includes non-compliance, discourtesy and insubordination, disturbing a course or class, and disrupting a meeting. It includes all forms of criticism of, and defiance toward, management in general. Antagonism is actionable by HCO Sec Check and if recurring, by Committee of Evidence, and may lead to suspension of certificates and even expulsion.

Is a physical sensation, not an emotional tone level.

Is a crime as per HCO POLICY LETTER OF 7 MARCH 1965 Issue III OFFENSES & PENALTIES and includes, but not limited to, mayhem, failure or refusal to acknowledge, relay or execute a direct legal order from an International Board Member, inciting to insubordination, spreading destructive rumours about senior Scientologists, and can also amount to Suppressive acts which are considered HIGH CRIMES per HCO PL 23 Dec 1965RB, Rev 8 Jan 1991 SUPPRESSIVE ACTS and HCO Policy Letters March 7, 1965, Issues I and II HIGH CRIMES, with all attendant penalties.

Is not a tone level by itself but a form of suppressed ANGER.

Is a manifestation of FEAR and henceforth included in the tone level of FEAR as an inseparable part thereof.


The new, updated tone scale is hereby presented and instituted. It is in full compliance with current Church Policy.

For brevity sake, only the main tone levels are given here. For a complete list of tone levels below FEAR, please refer to the updated HCO BULLETIN OF 25 SEPTEM3ER l971RB REVISED 1 APRIL 1978, RE-REVISED 2 AUGUST 2014 TONE SCALE IN FULL:


The top 3 tone levels – FEAR, SYMPATHY and PROPITIATION are, naturally, the most desirable ones for the parishioner. They ensure constant compliance, obedience, and a steady stream of donations from the parishioner to our Holy Mother Church.
GRIEF is a state of regret, following penalties inflicted for violating the state of PROPITIATION. It requires dropping down to MAKING AMENDS to atone for one’s failure to donate. If the person fully completes his formula of MAKING AMENDS, he may then rise to the next higher tone. If he fails to do so, he will drop to APATHY and then DEATH, as his eternal salvation is forfeited.

All Scientologists will stop using the old tone-scale as of date of this bulletin, and will destroy all copies and materials of the old tone scale. Posters of the new tone scale are now ready to be shipped and be posted in every Org and Mission in prominent places. Failure to comply will constitute a HIGH CRIME and invoke a Committee of Evidence against the person\s responsible for the omission.

Applying the new, updated tone-scale is our guarantee of the continued flourishing and prospering of the Church of Scientology.

David Miscavige


21 thoughts on “A new bulletin

  1. LOL!!!! 😀 It may be satire, but actually, is incredibly spot on!! Thank you for the much needed light relief, and wishing an awesome week to you and all.

  2. You may not want to publish this post as it’s not funny.
    Reading the satirical “Miscavige Communication Office” re-write of the Tone Scale, it reminded me of how I felt after reading LRH’s LSD Zombie HCOB of early 1977, and then reading about the Sweat program (rubber suits, etc.).
    It didn’t make sense to me but I observed that most Scientologists enthusiastically approved.
    Then came “Dianetic Clear” and the butchery of the middle Grade Chart, and that made little sense to me also. I was surprised by the number of people who immediately agreed with the announcement.
    Then came NOTs, and I saw people who, for years, believed they had no more “OT3/NOTs case,” suddenly agreeing that they did.

    Then came the Way of Happiness booklet. I had always regarded Scientology as a means of removing aberrations and, aberrations removed, one’s basic goodness would prevail, thus allowing each individual to decide what is proper conduct. I didn’t need to be told how to be “moral.”
    That’s when I started quietly backing away from corporate Scientology.
    The common denominator of all the above is that the vast majority of Scientologists immediately agreed with whatever new pronouncement came down from on High.
    It was when that I recognized the suggestive – even hypnotic – power that LRH had over most Scientologists, even though it would take me some time to fully confront it.

    Despite all this, there is good in Scientology and it need yo be salvaged..

  3. Who am I to question the almighty COB? Everything he says is true but I only say that according to my own self-determined observation.

  4. I always had a hunch something was wrong with the old Tone Scale. Things just didn´t seem to add up. Probably, once again, because of some SP altering the tech without Hubbard finding out about it. I´m pleased to hear that The Tone Scale is now completely on source and exactly the way Hubbard wanted it.

  5. I posted this once before, but this is a good point to do so again. It is the next phase in this evolution, required because of the new Tone Scale revision. It is the new Basics Release, coming on the next Auditor’s Day (or maybe the Anniversary of the IAS):
    Here is a partial list of the titles:
    Dianetics: The Original Thesis Concerning Donations
    Dianetics: The Evolution of Donations
    Dianetics: The Modern Science of Healthy Donating
    Science of Survival with Large Donations
    Handbook for Donaters
    Advanced Procedures for Donating
    Self-Financial Analysis for Donating
    Scientology $0 – $8
    Scientology $8 – $80
    Scientology $80 – $8,008.
    Scientology:The Fundamentals of Donating
    The Creation of Human Ability to Donate
    The Problems of Work – Low Pay But Large Donations
    Donations 55!
    Miscavige has spent YEARS on this revision, and Sea Org members are working 8 days a week, 36 hours a day to get it out in time!

  6. Morris. this has got to be the funniest comment I´ve read so far during my years of enlightening myself about Scientology on the internet. I think I´m going to be laughing out loud for the rest of the day thanks to you. So THANK YOU for being so funny and making my day!
    You forgot the following book titles:
    A New Slant on Donating
    The Scientology Handbook of Donating
    Introduction to Scientology Ethics in Donating

  7. Personally, I think this new and improved tone scale contains a whopping omission. It should be headed by Tone 40 Sadism! Nothing gets people to work like a good, enthusiastic face ripping. Dear leader feels a rush of profound joy when he can exercise his fists against some rag doll bodies. I know that the tone level of management is in a strata we professional PCs can never hope to achieve, but I still feel it would be beneficial to put it there as something to strive for.

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