A father’s message

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Andrew and his sons Bruce (L) and Luke (R)

I think only a parent can know the extent to which you can love your children.

It’s almost unavoidable. You watch them being born, bring them up, see them grow, and delight in their every achievement along the way. And you just want the very best for them. You crap on them for making the mistakes you made, or in an attempt to prevent those same mistakes. And you love them all the way.

My second-born son, Bruce, never got into Scientology in his earlier years, as he was not yet 2 years old when I left the Church the first time. The Joburg Org and the local Sea Org (called the FOLO at the time), pulled such a dirty on me and my family that I stayed away from 1988 to 2002.

I think he started his first services at Joburg org around 2004, doing Comm Course, Purif, BSM.

The Volunteer Ministers Cavalcade were manning up to go conquer Botswana for 6 months, and he was recruited for this project. He was working for my company at the time, but we gave him 6 months leave of absence, and off he went. We bought him all the necessities of African survival among Sea Org members (this was a Sea Org-run outfit), and wished him well.

Of course the 6 months stretched to 2 years or more, and I started to get really heavy on having him return to post in the company. In the usual way, the Sea Org staff put pressure on him to stay, the job was not done yet, they were going to go to another city, then another country…

I received a KR from him saying how out-ethics my wife and I were for not supporting this obviously “greatest good for the greatest number” effort, and trying to rip him off post etc. (Geez, who ripped who off post?) This was costing us money as while he was working Sea Org hours with Sea Org, he was not an SO member and was not on the payroll. Just a Volunteer Minister.

We made trips to Botswana to visit, sent packages, money and paid for his all his cellphone expenses. Of course, I was also roped into fixing the Mission’s computer equipment – for free.

When finally he returned, it took him a while to recover, and life went on. He was doing the TR’s and Objectives with a twin, then another twin – a girl he met while on course and finally married (more on that). He and his twin (girl-friend) Kerryn, just loved auditing, and as a Scientologist, it seemed like such a great thing – your child becoming an auditor. Moments to be proud of, but also with a little guilt. I asked myself  “why didn’t I get him into the Church earlier?”

They were keen on co-auditing their way up the bridge. When asked if he would join the Sea Org, or would like to be crew aboard the Freewinds, his reply was an emphatic “NO WAYS”. Remember he already had a 2-year taste of that.

Enter the AO AF project.

Kerryn gets heavily recruited and decides to join the Sea Org. Seeing the 2D is about to come to a sticky end, and being keen on auditing anyway, he decides to go along and sign up with her. They are to go to Flag to become Class IX auditors, and return to man up the AO AF in the Kyalami Castle. After a quick resignation of his job, and abandoning of MEST and debt for others to sort out, off they go. The EPF goes well, his production record is great (2 years VM work helped here too), and he is ready to roll. Soon Kerryn graduates the EPF too, and together they are working with Robert Bokelmann, Sean Figueroa (who was bust off the mission for out-2d), and “Russell” on recruitment and all the activities that go along with getting someone arrived in the SO.

Now of course, there will be no hokey-pokey in the Sea Org without a marriage license.

Late one night (I think a little after midnight), Shelley received an irate phone call from Kerryn’s mother. Assisted by sufficient alcohol, she is Effing and Blinding about who the fuck do we think we are, and how dare YOUR Fucking Church do something like this and keep something like this from her, and…what the fuck is YOUR Church doing and fucking up families, and she was about to get in her car to come beat Shelley to a pulp..… Why didn’t we tell her Bruce and Kerryn had gotten married?

After a stunned silence (Shelley and I had to digest all this and try and work it out.)  Right. Obviously they got married, and the mother doesn’t know about it. And neither do we. Which we try to explain to her, but she was off her rocker big-time. Score another PR Point, C of S!

We duly phoned Bruce, and it turned out to be true. Explanation given was it HAD TO BE DONE by such and such a time, and they could not berth together unless married, and so in the dead of night, they summoned up Ryan Hogarth to make it official. From the Church’s point of view, all is well. That’s a done. Send a CR and screw the devastation caused to families and relatives.

Unfortunately, Kerryn was doing so well on her post, handling Visas and applications and project prepares, etc. that she had difficulty in getting a replacement as efficient as she was. I started to get that uneasy feeling deep in the pit of my stomach. I’ve seen this shit before. The Church of Scientology is the one place in the world where you will be penalized for being really good at something. “You did a good job, therefore, we cannot honour our promise to you and you have to continue doing the job you were not recruited for in the first place.” So Bruce is ready to go, and Kerryn is not.

No problem. Theta is senior to MEST. Thetans are not related to each other. The greatest good for the greatest number. You’ve had plenty marriages on the Whole Track, what’s the rush?

So Bruce is sent to Flag (Dec 2010), and begins his training. Kerryn stays in Joburg on the recruit mission and due to join Bruce later on for which we supply a whole new set of luggage for her to take with.

Instead, she is kept on the admin post and embarks on a country recruitment trip with Robert Bokelmann. The years go by. The point came where they had been married for 2 years, and had been together for at most two weeks.  This being a brand-new marriage, Kerryn was understandably upset. Bruce too, but he was putting up with way more problems at Flag than just a missing wife. During those 2 years Kerryn made one trip to Flag and they had an afternoon off together and were put in separate berthings despite being married.

The primary purpose of the Sea Org is to separate couples and families, so Kerryn being put on the AO AF training team was not to be, and she had to return to South Africa to continue the recruiting for AO AF.

Inevitably, the call came. That phone call that sets all kinds of mental gears in motion. THE BOMB.

The call came from Sonja Falas, asking Shelley if she has a phone number for Sharon (Bruce’s mother, and long-time off-lines ex Scientologist.) Shelley says no, dunno. End of call. But the gears are in motion, and, putting two and two together, she calls Sonja back and casually suggests she get the number from Kerryn. And then the fancy footwork begins – “No, we can’t get hold of Kerryn, as she is on LOA having a family get-together somewhere, so we’re trying to get her through her Mom”. (This is the other thing, of course. You have a CSW approved in writing, and are legitimately on leave, but they will call, and cancel that, and you gotta come back. Now.)

Shelley is clairvoyant, and knows immediately: Kerryn has blown. I am skeptical, and think she may just be on leave and unwilling to take calls from the SO.  A call to Robert Bokelmann’s number gets no response.

Shelley goes into Facebook Police mode and checks the Facebook pages of Kerryn, and Bruce. Kerryn’s facebook page was gone. On a whim, she checks out Robert Bokelmann’s Facebook page, as he may be able to shed some light on it. The account has disappeared. GONE. Calls to his cell phone number don’t work either.

Okay, onto Peach’s Facebook page, maybe she can shed some light. Oh dear. All the pictures of Robert have been removed and the only ones remaining are of Peach and other people, no Robert. Again, Shelley is clairvoyant, and knows Oops! There has been some Out-2D here, resulting in Robert disappearing, and Peach expunging him from her life.  At this point I see AO AF disappearing over a distant horizon… bye bye.

At a later stage, Shelley had it personally confirmed to her that Rob Bokelmann had no less than 3 known out-2d escapades while on his country recruit trips.

Eventually Shelley gets hold of Peach (who is in the UK handling some major medical problem) and Peach finally spills the beans. Kerryn has blown. Shelley then phones Sonja and tells her she knows the truth, falling just short of calling her a lying B**tch.

Soon enough I got a call from Bruce at Flag, looking for Kerryn who he had not been able to get hold of. The SO (f***cking bastards) had not even told him that his wife had been blown for more than a month, and it was left up to Shelley and I to tell him. Not the kind of news one wants to put on a long-distance comm line to my son. He begs us for help in locating her which we manage to do, but she wants nothing to do with ANYONE from the Church. No data coming from her at all. She basically had had enough, and wasn’t going back  – no way, no how.

Around October 2013 I got a call from Bruce to ask if we can help and pay for him get a divorce long-distance (conservative estimate of R20,000.00).  At this point I put my foot down and said no. If you’re man enough to marry her, be a man and come divorce her. See her face to face, do it locally at low cost, and finished. I cautioned him to advise the MAA not to declare her suppressive (they were going to do that because she blew the Sea Org, and refused to come and route out) as this would mean Bruce could not be in comm with her, at which point divorce would be nearly impossible. You can’t ask your wife to sign divorce papers if you’re not allowed to talk to her, can you?

Bruce then suggests he comes out to South Africa in December 2013 but is asking the family to pay R18,000 for a return ticket, and he’s not sure if he can get leave and if so, by when etc.

By this point things in South Africa were heating up with rumours of mass declares about to occur, interrogatories happening and my wife walking around with a target on her back after a two-year incessant witch hunt.

Anyway, GAT2 is released, and Bruce goes from Flag-Trained ClassIV permanent gold-sealed—— to zero in one foul swoop. All that Flag training he had done in the last 2 and a half years was total shit, and he now has to start again at the bottom. Man, are we going to open this AO with lightning speed………

With my wife’s head on the proverbial chopping block and the “Jobur 18” massacre having occurred courtesy of the arrival of the Storm Troopers, we had had enough. The next phone call with Bruce was listened in on by the MAA and at some point she took over the call in an effort to try “talk us down”. I queried the MAA about this issue of not being allowed cell phones in graduation and quickly realised from her response that the Church knew damn well what they were doing was totally off policy and they were in abject terror of being exposed.

That was the last time I spoke to my son.

I resigned from the church at my wife’s comm Ev (read Spanish Inquisition). I sent a letter to Bruce stating my grievances and quoted specific policies which Int. Management were blatantly violating. I pointed out a few flagrant violations of LRH policy and tech. Copy to the MAA and the local Comm-EV.  This immediately put me “in bad standing” with the church and I never got a reply from Bruce.

And then Shelley and I were declared (by rumour of course, the Church has to date not informed us of this fact).

Today (4th August) is Bruce’s birthday. As a father, I want nothing more than to be able to wish him well and send him something. But this cannot be.

This occasion brings to mind a tone level which has been overlooked on the poison dwarf’s new tone scale. I will call it “SERENITY of OBEDIENCE”.

Bruce joined the SO to train up to class IX for the new AO AF (which will probably never open).

He got about half way there but then GAT2 happened, and he was back on the hamster wheel.

His marriage is ended, because the Church decrees his wife an SP.  Her senior (Rob Bokelmann) after going out-2d, gets a promotion and is relocated to the USA with his wife Peach.

I know Bruce has disconnected from his suppressive father (who helped him on his journey in Scientology) and that he is so indoctrinated he will not look. He is not allowed to. Perhaps he is scared to lose his bridge and his eternal freedom.

So he obeys the church in a tone level of “SERENITY of OBEDIENCE” and pretends all is well.

When Bruce got into Scientology and proudly sent me the message about having achieved Class 4, I felt a great sense of pride. Sadly, I now regret having taken him anywhere near the Church. This however, does not make me love him any less.

Anyway, Happy Birthday, son.

We are here for you on the day you finally see what you are looking at.

All my Love,



51 thoughts on “A father’s message

  1. The more distance I get from the Cult, the more this kind of stuff makes me really mad. Whereas as before this kid of stuff was like, “And?…”
    It’s serious mental conditioning that allows people to dispassionately dispose of family members and loved ones. Conditioned Scientologists look upon “WOG sentimentality” as just that….”wog”.
    It’s disgusting. The mental conditioning is cultivated through fear and ignorance.
    As an example of this conditioning, check out this actual communication I received from someone yesterday who learned I was declared, but wasn’t completely sure if it was true. This person does not know me and has never met me. But we were connected on FB:
    “Just to communicate a reality, I am hesitant to communicate with someone who, as far as I am aware, has been declared. I apologize about how my comm came across, however I am a very serious Scientologist with my eternity on the line and, while the SPs are doing their best to bring the world down, there are a few who are going PTS to it and going downhill and getting declared. I know of a few. If there is something wrong with this and it’s not right, then I seriously recommend you get it sorted out very quickly. If you are declared, stay off my lines until it is sorted out (if you try to do so)… or forever if you don’t. I hope all goes well.”
    The guy has never met me; I’ve never communicated one word with him before. Yet he’s very adamant that I stay off his lines. HUH? I was never on his lines. His eternity is “on the line” OH MY GOD. That sounds super, super serious. I mean, someone who feels this way could be compelled to do almost ANYTHING in the name of preserving said “eternity”.
    It’s the biggest con you could sell someone.
    I mean, you could not distinguish the logic demonstrated in this communication from the logic of someone who believes the world is 6,000 years old, or someone who believes that it is their religious obligation to carry out suicide bombings.
    In other words, Scientologists are 100% through and through FUNDAMENTALISTS.
    Just look at Kirstie Alley publicly disconnecting from a major celeb for being connected to another major celeb, with ZERO self-awareness of how absurd this makes her and SCN look.
    How does one account for such lack of self-awareness? FUNDAMENTALISM. “Everyone is different than us, and we are better than everyone”
    That is exactly what Scientology has become.
    I could go on and on and on.
    Andrew, the best I can say is that young SO members these days almost always end up routing out to have kids. Hopefully by the time your son reaches this point, he isn’t so thoroughly on the Kool Aid that he remains in the States with his new wife instead of returning home to Africa to be with his family.

    • Ooh! That is a way out, (unless the abortion trick is enforced), but it is a lifetime commitment to have kids, not really the best way to get out. But hell, I am sure it could seem tempting…

  2. Hello Andrew.
    I am sorry to read your story.
    What you have shared with your story is the truth about an organisation which has at its roots, the want to manipulate and subjugate people for its own purpose.

    • Thanks, OT.
      Partly I needed to get this off my chest, and wish him well (even though just in the ether of cyberspace). But also, I think it is a real-life, current-time example of the crap going down, and people need to be aware of it. If this post can influence even one person away from joining the SO, or prevent a disconnection, so much the better.

  3. Beautifully written from the heart.
    I knew your mom Monica Quirino at St Hill in the 1970s., I knew her well.
    I am guessing she has disconnected from you and Shelley ?
    What a great photo from earlier happier times.
    I am guessing Bruce will reach his own threshold.
    It isn’t any easier within. It grows more and more radical by the day.
    People have their limits.
    It is great that Bruce knows he has a safe landing and not a free fall
    if he departs.

    • Hi, Karen. As always, you are a Honey!
      Yes, I recall you knew my Mom way back when. I recall she ended up at Flag in the early eighties and has been there ever since. I met up with her in ’84 when I did a Course Sup. internship. It was great to see her after 14 years. Luckily, Bruce was able to meet her there for the first time, when he went for AO AF training. He was 24 years old at the time. So he has a Granny who is a high-ranking Exec at the FLB. How Monica has not seen through the shit and departed, I have no idea. She worked with LRH at Saint Hill since about 1964, and was appointed by him as C/S1 on the first crewing of the Flag Ship. She personally knew and worked for LRH for many a year. Maybe at the age of about 80, when you have been full-time on staff since 1964, (50 YEARS) it is hard to imagine any other kind of life. She was at Int base for some time, and who knows what she experienced there. If Bruce has an y way of reading this, or getting the data, he surely will see he is missed and will be welcomed home with open arms.

      Oh, and about the threshold: he is smart, but also tough. the tougher you are, the more crap you can endure before bailing out. Is it cruel to hope they break him down sooner rather than later? I’m not sure on that one.

  4. Hi Bruce

    I don’t know you, but I have seen you around in some org or another at some time in the distant past. As a father, I can try to imagine your pain and sorrow, but I’m sure I fall well short of the mark. Just remember that all bad things come to an end, and the church as it stands now will come to an end. Maybe then you will be able to reconcile with your son.

    I wish you all the biggest postulates possible 🙂

  5. Andrew, my heart weeps for you on this day!! I hope that one day Bruce sees through this quagmire of BS and finds his way back to his family!!

  6. Hi Andrew, I am so sorry to hear about Bruce. He’s a great kid, just like the rest of your family, and I am saddened beyond description to hear this news.I know just how much your hands are tied, and any move you make has the possibility of rebounding on Bruce, and resulting in RPF, pig’s berthing and beans and rice for months, if not longer. I remember how helpless I felt when I was trapped at Flag, but I could still comm with Alan, and I wasn’t a SO member, so I had some degree of protection. I can only imagine how you and Shelley feel, and it makes me sick to my stomach. I am calling all pockets (calling on all that is good in this universe) to be there for Bruce, and help him find his way back to those who really love him. If there’s anything Alan and I can do, anything, please don’t hesitate to ask.

    • Michelle, you are a darling and a hero in your own right.

      You of anyone, knows the scene there (and locally in SA). Did you ever manage to steal some butter to put on the rice and beans? It made all the difference for me! I thank you for the offer of help, and we appreciate it. let’s hope for a great resolution to this and soon.
      And please give my regards to Alan.

  7. Got nothing more to say than, Wow, what a story! I’m sure it’s nothing new, but it’s always fascinating to hear the hard-core details of how the organisation works in practice. Who would ever call this a church? Many non-scn I talk to describe it as satanism when I tell them my experiences (and believe me, they’re extremely mild in comparison). Of course, I dismiss that as christian fanaticism, but in the dark recesses of my mind, sometimes I wonder.

  8. Wow, what a moving story. So sad that a bright young woman will have nothing more to do with what she now believes is “Scientology”, that Bruce, dedicated, will not get the real tech he hopes to get where he is trying to get it, that the marriage is broken, dreams shattered and the family is apart. He WILL be back – soon.

    • That is my dream here. That he sees it. And then admits to himself that he saw it. And finally concludes that he saw what he saw and it is real, and is not what it should be. Only then will he begin to work a departure. It seems to work like that for most people. You have to realise: “Hey, this is crap!” before anything else can happen.

      • I totally get you drift, Andrew!
        And this one, that you wrote to Karen here: “the tougher you are, the more crap you can endure before bailing out” this is such a crazy, sad part of what’s happening!
        He WILL be back – soon.

  9. Dear Andrew such a heartfelt story.
    Yes the most Ethical people on the planet – Superior to all of us
    In Ethics and Robert Bokelman has a lot to answer for – he is
    known for his out Ethics on the second dynamic and gets promoted
    and that says it all!
    Same old shit!
    The SO is a den of Seriously Offensive Behavior towards parishioners
    Fraud, lies, threats and breaking up married couples and the encouragement
    of the disconnection policy which does not exist and declaring individual who
    are not even informed but their comm lines get cut because the Bullshit stories
    are made up.
    There are more SP declares than public on lines!
    You both love your son and thats Theta – you will be there for him when
    he wakes up and thats great..

    • You are so right, Goldie. The strength of Scientology (LRH style, if that’s what you want) lies outside of the church. I am kind of proud to be a member of the SP clan, and an old-timer, to boot. after insisting for some data from the CLO we finally got an email saying we had been expelled from the Church. No mention of declare in writing. But informants have stated that they have seen/read an actual declare. Like the Corbetts, the Kroegers, the Jellys and all the rest, we will likely never have it confirmed by the Church in writing. I must have missed the HCOB or Policy Letter where LRH says you should do it via the rumour-line and Facebook unfriending. Hmm. Maybe I had MU’s…

  10. Only time will tell as to when Bruce will ‘see the light’ and eventually leave – but it is bound to happen Andy! Until then, we will all keep him in our thoughts and hope that he is doing well!

    Bruce – if you ever read this, know that you are greatly missed and that the door is always open for you to come home…

  11. Hi Dad (Andrew). Wow written as if you were re-telling the story to me around the dinner table in your kitchen. It is a sad story and unfortunately it hasn’t come to an end YET, Bruce is by far the most intelligent person i know and will only fall for the same BS stories for so long before the Jackson Trait of questioning and thinking for ourselves kicks back in. At that point he will be back with us and family life will be as it should be, hopefully someone with some balls will show him this site and he can see for himself that A:) his family miss and love him dearly and B:) that there is life beyond the kool-Aid fed web of deception,lies and crap that he has become accustomed to.. Love you little brother! Wake up and come see how your TRUE family has grown. One Love Boet!

    • Thanks, Luke, and well said. Yes, he is about as intelligent as you, and tough too. The hard part is even when you see shit, but you work in a Sewerage Farm, it’s hard to find it out of place. And remember he is not allowed to question or wonder or have his very own personal ideas on it. That would get him in big shit real quick. And perhaps that will be how it plays out in the end. He believes he is doing the right thing. A great thing. He is saving the planet and Mankind after all, so putting up with some BS can seem like a small price to pay in comparison. I know, I was there too. But yes, he is so welcome!

  12. Hi Andrew. Thanks for telling this story. I think it’s so important that people see what goes on inside scientology. They claim that they support strong family ties. What a joke. There are thousands of stories like this out there, and it’s heart breaking.
    Hang in there, hopefully Bruce will wake up soon. SO members get treated like shit and the time will come when he realizes that he is worth more than that.

  13. Thanks, Draco. And yes, there are thousands of similar stories out there. But lest people get the idea it’s just in the USA or UK or some place, I hope this makes it real that it affects even us South Africans. You know, I have no problem with young people going through a grueling experience and coming out at the end of it. We South African Gents were called up to the Army at age 18, and spent time getting seriously messed-up and invalidated, etc. But there was an end to it. You finished Basic training, and got on with a job. They taught you how to kill the enemy and sent you to go do that, and of course the enemy wanted to kill you back, and there were some rough times. The big difference is, OUR Army wasn’t trying to kill US. There was a known common enemy. In the Church, you vary between being the enemy, potential enemy, the ex-enemy, whatever. And you are threatened, even subtly, with the harshest threat ever known: the loss of your ETERNITY. That’s some bad shit right there. It’s hell, but apparently lasts lifetime after lifetime on and on…

    As much as I hope to help Bruce, I hope also to have some effect on others in similar situations.
    “Support strong family ties” ROFL! they tout the Youth for Human Rights Campaign, and yet human rights are cancelled when you sign that contract. Hell, the Army fed us, clothed us, and gave us some leave sometimes. And paid your train fare home when you were done. Oh, and did I forget to mention you get some medical care too?

  14. Hi Andrew. Hope he had a great birthday too. Please see my message from Shelly. Bruce will see the light soon and you will both be there for him. Am sorry that the witchcraft is in full swing in the church that we always wanted to protect and make sure it secures the only tech we know works and keep it there for our children. As a parent, I cant imagine waking up to not having a comm line with my child. I would also blame myself for selling her to the vultures , but you know what? Bruce is quite smart. Just give it time.

    • Thanks, Sophy. It will take as long as it takes, I guess, but we will wait and be here when he does. I know what you gave, and sacrificed in your time too. Protecting the church seems like a far away memory now.

  15. Andrew this is so heart wrenching. I know a number of good, decent and bright people in the SO trap. Its a trap that locks from the inside. The prisoner is also the jailer. But many have gotten out of the trap and many more will follow. Bruce is lucky to have you guys there waiting for him.

    • I feel a bit like Andrew. I got my son into the SO and now must work out how to get him out.
      Of course, there is the angle that he needs to make up his own mind. My task is to let him know that there are things he’s been lied to about; and that I’m waiting to support him when the time comes that he realises he must cut his losses.
      I’m working out how to do that without messing it up.

      • Yes that’s a rough one. Basically he needs to be shown some absolutely irrefutable proof of a major outness that cannot be denied or dead-agented. But then it still requires to confront and look and overcome all the fixed ideas. I wish you well with this.

      • I wish you well, and its great that you will be there for your son should he ever decide to get out. From what I have read of others experiences it takes a little time to decompress so its a bonus to have someone caring who also understands. Holding thumbs for you.

  16. Bruce, the world does not want to be saved by people who treat their nearest and dearest as outsiders, as lepers, losers or “enemies”. That’s a fact of life that you will wake up to one day.

    Family may seem trivial to an immortal being intent on civilising the universe, but what kind of civilisation can there be without family? Without communication? Love?

    Is that really the future you are working so hard to create?


    Call your Dad.

    “A culture will go by the boards if its basic building block, the family, is removed.” — LRH

  17. Thanks, Mwesten. It’s funny, we are the SP’s, but they are cutting comm lines, disconnecting, tearing families apart, pissing people off, ad nauseum. This is suppressive use of a cancelled policy.

  18. Fuck I am glad I didnt bite!Something just didnt smell kosher.Fuck I am glad I dont have family or friends connected or in the SO anymore.Strength,Peace and Love to those who do.

    • You know, it’s funny, what you say about not biting. I signed a couple of SO contracts but I always had such a long runway to arriving, like five years, that it was forgotten (thank god!). A couple of years on staff cured me of any notion to join up.
      However, it is a noble idea, to save the planet and that Scientology and the SO were doing that. When there was a recruitment event for the AO, I found, after all I’d been through, the urge to put up my hand and I had to sit on them to keep them down. This idea that this is the ONLY group that’s going to make it because it’s the ONLY group with the tech to change the planet, is the trap, of course.
      Anyway, after being on staff, I vowed I’d never do it again. NEVER.
      I must say, long ago in the 90s, when I saw the berthing in Kensington and how the SO members lived, I knew I couldn’t do it. I knew, deep down, that I just couldn’t – strong pull to help or not.
      In any case, whilst on staff, seeing the insanity and being invalidated mercilessly although being extremely productive and upstat, I realised that this wasn’t the way I could help. I vowed that I would never join staff again and this included the SO.
      I had a narrow escape.

  19. This is just one of the endless list of reasons why regular people find Scientology disgusting and will have nothing to do with it.

    I am very sorry for your loss. I don´t think it will last forever.

  20. Thanks for the article and the story. It will help many.
    Some of my friends, while in, were so into the daily routine of stats and targets and musters and the day-to-day, that they never stopped to look around and contemplate their progress. This took care of many years of hard work, without much inspection or introspection.
    Later they experienced something, like witnessing a seriously harsh reg cycle on another, a false claim now exposed, and a dozen smaller events that helped bring about a gradual awareness of where they were going, and that there may actually be something wrong with the management of this scene.
    So, as many have said, his time will come, and he will see this, and thankfully he’ll have you guys there to help.

  21. I’m sure that after the lousy life as org staff at Flag and the witnessing of much viciousness and unreal carryings-on, he’ll see the light. He’ll be only to relieved and pleased to arrive back into sanity, that is your family, that he’ll be able to say, “Up yours!”

  22. There’s a slight chance I might still have been a dedicated scn today if it was not for the fact the SO started coming around to interview my kids. Sure, there were many things I was deeply discontent about but was willing to endure because I thought there was a Bridge that would take me somewhere. But when the SO started knocking on my door to see my kids, it forced me to look a little more deeply at my commitment and confidence in this organisation – given I was expected to give my unqualified endorsement to my kids joining ‘for life’. I found I could not.
    Still not wanting to take an ‘enemy line’ I spoke to my kids to tell them I would not be trying to influence their opinion and not to agree to anything without good personal inspection – we all know there are ways of communicating that give one idea while the words say something completely different. We all immediately knew they would never join, and thereafter if was just a matter of turning the heat up on the recruiters till they knew they weren’t welcome. By the time they realised that – well… that’s why I’m here.

  23. Bruce and Shelly: Thank you for sharing this.
    I bestow the Scientology Praetorian badge of honour on both of you.
    Today is your day – I’m with you.

  24. This is a very sad story, indeed. Andrew, I will postulate every day, for the well being of your son and his soon return to his family. Hang in there and keep creating FAITH, never let go of it. The power of TRUTH will triumph in the end. Just never lose hope. Keep mocking up your immense love for him and keep puting FAITH there. The rehabilitation of our essence as a group is near. Your son will return to you. My blessing to you, him and the rest of your family.


  25. Andrew this is tragic….Many years ago your Dad and I fought tooth and claw about Scientology. eventually I succumbed. It seemed to me at the time that the entire operation operated on the Pavlov’s dog principle. Punishment and Reward. AND MONEY!!! Was very aware of the huge expense involved in courses etc… Where did the money go?! So very sad that you were dragged
    into it..So wanted to take you and Nicholas but quite impossible…despite my Dad offering to finance providing Scientology was taken out of the equation. Felt you would be much happier with Monica ..but when I read of your being thrown in the water remember well when I was pregnant with Ivor your being dragged out to sea at Toti and leaping in and some poor man having to fish us both out. You would have drowned in a puddle of water. You always put your head down when in water rather than lifting. Have thought of you so much over the years and am
    delighted that you have found happiness in your marriage. I’m sure that your son will, definitely will resume contact. He is very lucky to have you. Put Scientology and their raggedy language, designed to confuse and muddle, behind you. Adrienne.

    • Hi, Adrienne.
      Well, what a blast from the past!
      Can I ask the blog moderators for your contact details and get in touch with you?

      So much to say…

      • Andrew my dear, dear man, Would absolutely love to hear from you. Please, please get in touch with the blog moderators. I’m also on facebook, Adrienne D’Aeth.. write a whole lot of nonsense there as absolutely love venting and boring the world to death… Now please, please get in touch.. have hesitated to push into your world.. contacted Owen in 87 to find out how you were doing.. Hettie? Hattie? seemed to thing that I was out to renew the relationship.. nonsense of course but saw no point in making waves and hurting. Have to hear from you.. Your little lives were so disrupted.. Eileen, your grandmother was probably the best thing you kids had…. Golly gee, I was 21 when I started living with your Dad and very immature. Scientology, yes it had some very good points..always retained but No, most disruptive and destructive when it came to family relationships.. An overbearing and interfering in law jealous of all!! That was Scientology.
        With love and affection,

      • Yes of course.. I don’t know if my response to this went through! Very Technically challenged. Would love to hear from you. Am also on face book..Adrienne D’Aeth.. not the one with the polar bear, that is redundant but have no idea how to remove, the old duck with flash of pink hair is me! That’s the one to be on,
        Hope the other message went through, apparently it has to be moderated or something.

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