A story on freedom

 A success story by eyeswideshut

 Freedom2Many thanks to eyeswideshut for sharing this story of what it’s like to journey up the bridge outside of RCS. More importantly, this comes from a South African who is doing the bridge right here in this country!  

The price of freedom

My first major win in Scientology came from doing an O/W write-up, followed by conditions in which I made up the damage I had created. I was blown away at this one factor that I actually had to make physical universe changes to “rejoin the group” and couldn’t simply charm my way back into everybody’s good graces like I had previously always managed to do. This very simple action gave me a shift in viewpoint: it made me realise I had to take responsibility for my actions and in future to think of the consequences before I acted.


I was at that time still very new to Scientology and the application of ethics was light. Sadly, after joining staff I was not to experience this lightness of application again. Thereafter O/W write-ups became a tool to “find out” what you had done in order to make you wrong. I recall one time when I was on staff that my entire division was sent to ethics for meter checks because the division stats were low.

Of course, I had many more wins in Scientology from my auditing and courses – but there was always a nagging disquiet. It seemed that with each win there was always someone telling me I had to buy something else, had to do something more, had to attend some event, had to read another book, had to pay for more auditing…  This became so much so that my wins were short-lived. One was not allowed to just be: to just be in present time.

The story of my leaving the church is not the subject of this article – it is about the independent field. Since leaving the church and joining the independent field I have really experienced the tech as it was meant to be. I have had phenomenal auditing: the kind of wins that can never ever be taken away from me. No matter how much time has passed I retain the wins I have experienced. No matter what happens in my life that knowingness is unshakable.

I have also completed ethics conditions in the independent field. The wins from this have left me completely certain that the church in its application of ethics today has no clue as to what they are doing! Ethics conditions in the independent field are done with ARC, they are done with the intention to help, and most importantly they are done thoroughly. The conditions are not something you keep doing and keep doing and keep doing. No, when you do them you do them properly and those wins are stable. I cannot emphasise this enough: having done conditions I now have stability across my dynamics and that will never change because I as a being am stable. I know who I am and I know that I am separate from my case.

As many previous commenters and articles have reiterated, the church does not apply ARC. ARC has been replaced with force and ‘command intention’ to get you to do your next action. While this is justified as ‘trying to help you and clear the planet’, in reality you are not granted any beingness to originate or communicate how you feel. It is done robotically in the manner of ‘follow the leader or be kicked out’. Is that helping YOU? It’s like the movie Divergent: to the extent you stand out and cannot be controlled you become dangerous, but if you fit the mold you are trained to be exactly who they want you to be. What you are being asked to do is: Don’t think, don’t question, and if you obey us we will reward you with ‘your freedom’.

While in the church I came to realise the price of this ‘freedom’ was too high. If I wanted to continue being part of the group it would come at the expense of me having to go against my fundamental beliefs as to what is right and what is wrong. It meant I had to commit what I considered to be overts, to betray people – in short, to become the very sort of person I had joined Scientology NOT to be. I for one do not consider this to be ‘freedom’ but rather entrapment. How can you betray your spouse, your best friend or partner, your parents or brother/sister and still expect to have wins and become a saner, better person? How can you dupe someone to hand over money you know they cannot afford and use it to enhance your own status in the group, and still expect to be a better person? You cannot get to the top of the Bridge and experience all the wins on offer all the while building a ladder of debt, ARC breaking friends and family, disconnecting and going against your personal integrity. All this gets you is the false respect of titles and status, but no real wins, and certainly no real respect and friendships. You are not treated like a friend in Scientology, you are treated like a slave.

Here is an excerpt from Wikipedia on the definition of slave:

Slavery is a legal or economic system under which people are treated as property. Though laws and systems vary, as property, enslaved persons, referred to as “slaves”, may be bought and sold. Slaves can be held from the time of their capture, purchase or birth, and deprived of the right to leave, to refuse to work, or to demand compensation.

Now have a look at an excerpt from Wikipedia on the definition of friend:

Although there are many forms of friendship, some of which may vary from place to place, certain characteristics are present in many types of friendship. Such characteristics include affection, sympathyempathyhonestyaltruism, mutual understanding and compassion, enjoyment of each other’s company, trust, and the ability to be oneself, express one’s feelings, and make mistakes without fear of judgment from the friend.

So ask yourself, is the church your friend?

The independent field is exactly that – independent. One is empowered to think independently and experience the tech without suppression. You are granted beingness to live your life across all your dynamics and to do the Bridge on your own determinism. There is no pressure; no Thursday 2pm stat push; no make-wrong for expressing yourself or for asking valid questions. Doing the Bridge this way produces amazing results. It produces beings who take responsibility for themselves across all dynamics; it produces flourishing, successful beings; it produces INDEPENDENT people who can look, think and act for themselves without fear and suppression.

The people that I have met in the independent field are my friends, they are there for me no matter what, and they are there to help me when I need it, as I am for them.

There has been much debate regarding LRH. I cannot pass judgment on him or what he was like or what his intentions were as I did not know him personally. All I know about him is the information told by others, some who say they knew him and some who did not.

What I do have firsthand experience of is the tech, both inside and outside the church. The tech – pure, undiluted and suppression-free – does exist… it’s just not where you originally thought.

With Love,




74 thoughts on “A story on freedom

  1. Bravo! Eyeswideshut, you presented a very hopeful existence post Church debacle. People need to know that there is future, ARC and a brotherhood of man based on anti-slavery principles!

    There is enough hate, dismay and betrayal out there to fill a black hole! To assist entheta even by peddling it, serves only the dark ones. I think it takes raw guts to go against the grain, say hell no and screw it lets do it mentality!

    For whatever reasons I believe this philosophy has the minerals to take us to better, saner places. The fact that I havent woken up yet with a large “S” on my breast with attendant red cloak blowing in the wind does not dismay either. I have experienced truly miraculous wins, some more “OT” than others, some so simple yet incredible!

    Heres to positivity, freedom from or freedom to! (Raise glasses please tink, tink, tink)

  2. Wonderful post indeed. The early orgs and St Hill were like this. On my joining the SO at the first AO in Alicante Spain, it was magnificent. There were over a hundred students and PCs from around the world, all being absolutely wonderful and keyed out.

    The heavy ethics and invalidation of staff started on the ships. LRH wrote in the Orders Of The Day (a daily post LRH wrote every day) that many of the SO crew had forgotten the more gentle side of Scientology and preferred using heavy ethics.

    Also when the policy came out putting HCO above the Qual Div it made ethics senior to tech and put SP type characters above the tech and auditors.

    This action can can be reversed by making executives and ethics personnel auditors before they are allowed to hold a senior post.

    • Travis, how utterly interesting is that? Making an ethics officer first be an auditor beforehand. Imagine using the auditors code naturally while helping another with ethics conditions – revolutionary!

      Would never be used in the church but I see universal appeal on the outside. I love it! Now we are talking solutions arnt we?

      • That’s a very interesting viewpoint Sheeplebane ; having the Auditor’s Code in when doing an ethics cycle on others. I have always done it that way with great results every time , but I was already a seasoned auditor.

        An Ethics Officer training w/out an auditor training as well (with a proved record of excellent wins on others) , is the recipe for disaster and injustice.


      • How it went as I recall “.. you invalidate him, he’s an ethics particle not a pc..” Snr HAS/LCAF 1990’s era.

      • All credit to Travis on the initial idea 🙂

        But it really pushes the point home of how ethics handlings need to be done with benevolent intent, oodles of ARC, KRC and persistence. Anything else can lead to a theta slaughter house!

        Now, lets assume the valence of an SP using the ethics tech in reverse or altered form – BOOM! It couldnt be easier could it?

        Safety measures in the field are as follows:

        1. Smaller loosely held independant groups with no “Dear leader” on top to in darkness bind them. If one group is infiltrated and destroyed others can carry on or reform.

        2. A more thorough vetting process to screen out the malevolent ones.

        3. A below the radar style of operation. No loud music, big fanfare and costly events.

        4. Let your delivery speak for itself. Wins, successes and great service spread like..nothing else really!

        5. Some indies may be a little chary if they dont know you. Its obvious why. Persist.

      • Sheeplebane, Travers, Thetaclear, no need to be an auditor in order to be a good EO. Although of course being an auditor helps everything else. Necessary though to have good TRs and high ARC. Ethics used to be like that in the early days. It’s the real sense of ethics. Ethics are not morals. The difference is explained in the relevant issues. Ethics is what one decides on one’s own

  3. I am sure that I am not alone when I say that since leaving the RCS I have gone out of my way to commit what I consider overts – experimental-like, of course. No doubt that sounds strange and completely immoral – don’t judge, I know many of you have done the same. It was done within the confines of my personal moral code – in other words the overts were against an enforced moral code.

    While auditing on NOTs and enduring endless and extremely expensive six-monthly sec checks during which nothing of substance ever came up beyond forgetting to lock my safe, I became increasingly unhappy with this waste of time and money.

    On expressing this unhappiness, I was shown an LRH reference (sorry, I can’t recall it) that said he would personally never hire someone who never committed overts. Believe me, I thought long and hard about that. After some thought I cognited that no-overts equals no-living. One reason I like this blog is it offers the ability not just to be truthful but to totally speak one’s mind. You can quote me all the references you like on ‘Manners’ but I believe one gets a certain feeling of release from just doing or saying what one damn well feels like. With that realisation came a degree of insouciance – mostly against scientology.

    I had already cognited that the reason I wasn’t committing overts in life had nothing to do with me being such a moral person, but fear of doing anything the MAA might consider wrong. This would come with additional sec check questions and ‘making up the damage’ aka making donations. There was no self-determinism about it. For me, I felt the biggest overt I was committing was wasting money in session that I rather needed to support a family. In fact, I don’t think the MAA cared less about anything other than protecting scientology. I once confessed to a certain act which I considered most disreputable, and my MAA simply said ‘What’s wrong with that?’ But when once I thought I hadn’t paid enough tax on one transaction (I had, it later transpired) that was considered a MAJOR transgression in his eyes, and he wanted to know why I hadn’t written it up and handled it the moment I arrived at Flag .

    What this leads to is, I have been observing the tone level of still-ins in recent months. As I come out I believe I can see them much more clearly than before. They are all anxious and fearful. I have written many comments about how they compulsively outflow in public (Methinks the lady doth protest too much?). This great article outlines how important and pervasive this one element of scientology has become. Today, ethics defines scientology.

    Eyeswideshut – I agree with everything you say. One of my biggest wins in scn was also doing conditions and making up the damage in the physical universe. I had once committed a minor insurance fraud ($90) and my handling was to send the company a cheque and explanation. I could really sense the blowdown from the insurance manager – someone coming clean! These things really handle charge beyond oneself. One of my last wins in scn was also doing conditions – for real, and for myself. And that’s why I’m here today!

    • Woden,
      Quoting you: One reason I like this blog is it offers the ability not just to be truthful but to totally speak one’s mind. You can quote me all the references you like on ‘Manners’ but I believe one gets a certain feeling of release from just doing or saying what one damn well feels like.

      Me: It is not true that a person can say what one damn well feels like, on this blog.

      I was wrongly censored by a maladjusted, self righteous, half baked moderator trying to be pious , for even speaking simple truth, a few weeks ago.

      In my post, I did not say anything that was not true


      • Dio. The reason for redacting your comment was this:

        “I want Snowden and all the likes of him shot immediately. Put 10 million dollar bounties on their heads dead”
        “If it smells like shit, it is shit”.
        “Our legal system which has been; “innocent until proven guilty”, is increasingly failing to work, so the system has to be changed to “guilty until proven innnocent”, and authorities must shoot first and ask questions later.”
        “Criminals are getting so crafty, they are getting better and better at fucking the minds of the good people, the authorities and the justice system”

        All of the above were in direct violation of our moderation policy:
        “◾We reserve the right to moderate comments that contain profanity, anti-religious speech (any religion) and violence (or threats thereof)”

        And now you have resorted to further contentious remarks and vitriol against the blog moderator/s (who you don’t know and have never met) by referring to them as you did above.

        As you have clearly demonstrated, you hold this blog, the moderator/s and the moderation policy in contempt.

        Our only question is thus: Why did you even bother stopping over here in the first place? This is clearly not the platform for your agenda, and we are perfectly happy for you to move along.

        BIC ADMIN

      • Dio, It’s been a while, since we had comm. I have read yours, when appearing here, and on other blogs, but declined to respond.

        The reason being, I cannot see any point to interact with you, if you are not prepared to operate with ARC.

        In a nutshell, “treat others, as you would want them to treat you”

        If you could just make that ONE, solitary principle truly a basis from which to conduct your life, I guarantee it (your life), would markedly improve for the better.

        Fare well, brother. 🙂

      • BIC.
        It wouldn’t hurt to ban some people that repeatedly violate the moderation policy. :+)

      • Hi Tony – one or two public warnings are helpful in some cases. They either agree to the terms, leave willingly, or finally get the hint when they no longer see their comments being posted. 🙂

      • There’s also a big difference between saying what one wants, and pushing one’s own agenda. When I make these comments it’s from the viewpoint of being for the first time able to say things I never could in the RCS. To start crystallising my views on the RCS I literally had to go to my gym, sit in the sauna and start talking about scn to complete strangers, just to hear the words come out my mouth. I certainly couldn’t truthfully speak to anyone I knew and least of all family and friends as KRs would immediately follow (for the sake of my own eternity, of course). From that I upped the gradient to acquaintances and finally friends and family. THAT’S the context in which I revel in this new-found ability to communicate – and for the first time violate enforced and unwelcome codes of conduct. Snowden, I could talk to anyone about.
        In this self-same gym I recently initiated a conversation about Hitler. A Russian there started expressing very strong and harsh opinions – and almost everyone else in the sauna did what BIC is doing to you – they ignored or silenced him. Not necessarily because they disagreed, it was the nature of his vitriol. So you’re not being hard done by.

  4. Oh my Goodness!
    Eyeswideshut – This is an amazing article!
    Honestly written and really very touching and I can
    relate and agree with everything written here.
    In the Independent field you remove the restraints
    from true freedom of Slavery!

    I have learnt to laugh again – the heavy burden –
    Solid – Seriousness of being part of the Church

    My wins are also stable and every day I move up
    the bridge on my own determination – No pressure
    No force – ARC in bucket loads and that is true freedom.

    Thank you so much for sharing your story with us.

  5. Thank you for your great article, Eyeswideshut, it is so refreshing. Brilliant idea to define “slavery” and “friendship” – it really shows the point, doesn’t it? It’s wonderful to hear of your wins in the free field!

  6. Thanks Eyeswideshut – my glass is raised.

    I am flourishing and prospering now out of the church and receiving amazing auditing with incredible ARC (in South Africa). Sheeplebane I like your analogy on a previous article re the nail gun, this has become true for me.

    Thank you BIC for your last post “A Friendly Reminder” 100%

    • Glad you got my analogy. I felt the point of intent was the missing factor and primary difference in comparing LRH and DM.

      Very happy you are experiencing the good stuff as an indie, there are WAY more of us than advertised, happy to move on up without catching the eye of Saurons attention lols!

      Someday soon it may be possible to come out into the open as the freemen for all to see. A toast of merriment and celebration shall be in order on that premise! Until then happy adventures on your journey, be well!

  7. That’s a great article, Eyeswideshut !

    It is excellent indeed !

    It comms so much truth , so much reality, that you basically covered all the common denominators of what is wrong with the Church.

    As you well pointed out, ethics is an incredible rehabilitation tool, if properly used by caring terminals not dramatizing their own bank.

    I am very happy that you finally found your true group and friends , and that you are succeeding in the Field.


  8. Eyeswideshut: Thanks so much for sharing this with us. When I left the RCS, I was totally disillusioned with the Bridge – I just KNEW that it was being incorrectly delivered and something was seriously wrong. Every bit of auditing I had over the past many years was a total fiasco – no wins, just “patch-up” stuff that kept me chugging along (barely). This after many invalidations on the Clear state, running NED that had me nearly climbing the walls, and red tags after virtually every session. PTS handlings until they were coming out of my ears – wrong items, repair lists and all that jazz – you name it, I had it. Compared to the amazing wins I got in the 70’s and early 80’s, I knew that something was seriously wrong. In 2012 I resigned myself to never going up the bridge and actually refused to go into session anymore as it was just making me worse.

    I felt better when I was just busy helping others – that gave me more wins than sitting in session and wanting to smack the auditor for gross out-TR’s and overrunning me to the point of no return – literally. And after all of that and a 9-page report to the C/S, they suddenly decided to FES my folders (with two of them missing/lost) by a different C/S and was given the R-Factor that I “was totally right”. Duh. Did this make me feel any better? Not on your nelly – all those bloody intensives and money down the drain as they “experimented” on my case and fudged around having a jolly old time messing me up with GAG1 – all at my expense. Thank God I never stuck around for GAG2.

    Your story has gone a long way to restoring my faith – I was definitely on a pendulum swing and prepared to “throw the baby out with the bathwater”. After reading this, I had a LFBD and felt so much brighter. And of course, I am very happy for you! Well done! 🙂

    • Gosh Shelly thats fantastic to hear! Seems this post hit the nail on the head and drove things home for many!

      You are a Trojan, but like so many your colossal efforts were channeled to help DM make a Trojan horse instead! Its a betrayal that bites deep indeed! Too deep for some, fuel to despise for others. It gladdens my heart to see your comment thus!

      I too am experiencing the tech outside the straw fotress of lies. Its very different. So different it delivers, unlike our political party promises and contrasting dramatically to our lost church too!

      There have been times where I have come out of a solo session where the world seems so twinkly bright I want to wrap my theta arms around it and say HELLO!

      If you would like to chat via email pls ask the BIC team to send you my email addy and I can answer any questions. No pressure, totally up to you. 🙂

      To all the sparkling people out there listening have a wonderful new day, free free at last, go get some whatever it is!

    • Dear Shelley,

      I am so glad that you decided not to “throw the baby out with the bath water”.

      I assure you that case gain is not only possible but it is actually immense when 100% Scn is applied per the book. There are excellent auditors in the Field. Get in comm with BIC Admin, and I am sure they can help you with that. I have excellent refs too, of great people, but the ones I know are in the USA and Israel.

      Should you need or want in those areas, I’ll be more than happy with providing you with a list.


      Success in your path.


      • Thanks for your ack, Peter, much appreciated. I see this blog has just added the Israel blog link – I was happy to see that.

        I was blown away to see this success story from someone in my own country – this is a huge relief and a big win in terms of expansion of the Indy groups which are spreading all over the globe and expanding so wonderfully. It’s a big win for everyone, I am sure 🙂

      • You are very welcome Shelley,

        And yes, it is a big win for everybody indeed.

        I hope that you be able to find the right terminals and that wins and gains from standard application become a routine in your life.

        ARC PETER

    • Hi Shelley, you make an interesting observation and one that has been lurking un-expressed in my mind for some time – but one that I personally don’t think is new. That is, the unprofessionalism of scn. I used to talk quite extensively with an old-timer who used to complain about PCs in the 60s and 70s being used as ‘guinea-pigs’ as the tech was evolved. I do understand there’s a difference between evolving the tech by experimentation and the bastardisation currently happening today – but in my eyes, un-professionalism seems to have always been endemic. Has the trial-and-error approach ever evolved into a tried-and-tested methodology? Maybe the answer lies in the Indie field – but I’m just getting over the RCS without wanting to try anything new. I do appreciate these articles on the Indies and would welcome more from different angles – like what the upper levels are really like to experience.

      • Woden – funny that you mention guinea-pigs. I guess to a certain degree this did happen (I was a young kid kicking around the org during school holidays, so if an Auditor needed to drill or do a practical, I was an obvious choice). In those days it was a case of “read it, drill it, do it”. And if mistakes happened, you went back, looked for MU’s, got a pink slip (which was not a death warrant as it is these days) – took your PC back in session and continued. It was easy, light and unserious.

        The difference between then and now is that I was happy, keen and really WILLING to go into session – ANY session. It was FUN, exhilarating and adventurous (I am reminded of the Tom Hanks line slightly altered to “auditing is like a box of chocolates”) .

        In comparison, all my auditing since mid-90’s was “dead serious” – I dreaded going into session and then dreaded the examiner – and it was horrible. I didn’t know why until I did much reading and finally got it figured out.

        My comment started getting so long I realised that there is so much to be said (from a PC perspective of one who had auditing the old way AND in the “new era”) that I realised it’s probably the subject of a separate article – so I chopped it off and will consider submitting it to the BIC Admins to see if they’d like to publish.

        One thing I will say though is that IMO the auditing in orgs today is anything BUT professional – I will explain this in my dissertation. 🙂

      • Based on what you say (and I hope this comment comes after your’s and not mine) I’d have to say I may have it arse about face. Maybe it was that very lack of professionalism that made scn worthwhile. Maybe it’s an adventure that simply isn’t suited to professionalism. I think you have a winner of an idea for an article there. When I described that old-timer as ‘complaining’ that was not the correct term. He stoic-ly recognised it as part of the game (till he did OT levels which he simply described as squirrelled from LRH’s). Interestingly (and I’m referring to the late Werner Lossau here) he attributed all today’s problems to AOR – Absence of Ron.

      • Ha ha – I LOVE that! AOR – this is the “disease” that has infiltrated the RCS. Ron isn’t there anymore – he has literally “left the building”. He is out here – where people are winning and happy – as he intended.

        In the Church, they are trying to cure AOR with OM&D – Obey Miscavige and Donate. They couldn’t be further from the truth or so far off the mark. Eish.

      • Shelley, what is just incredulous for me to read, ( If you don’t mind me sharing this) is the sheer volume of restrained ‘upset’, that you (and others) are only now, being given the opportunity to air for the first time.

        As one who previously shared that I was spared being put through miscavige’s mind-mincing machine, simply by shying away from our former auditor-making, fun filled academy of the 70’s, suddenly sending out VERY alarming vibes and signals, that the movement had now morphed into a now unrecognizable, decidedly Unreligious institution, soley focused on demanding and trying to extract huge amounts of money, insanely out of all proportion to any other broadly recognized spiritual ‘institutions.’

        Though I have been on the blogs, since 2011, the sheer scale of betrayal and deception, continues to pour forth from those only recently realizing, and cutting loose from the mind-controlling cult of David Miscavige.

        Every day, only gets better, as one recovers from the DMadness.

        Love and strength to you and Andrew. 🙂

    • Fantastic Shelly, glad to hear it. The independent field is truly everything I said and more, I hope you get to experience it. Much love

  9. Thank you so much for all the wonderful acknowledgements! It was my purpose to shed some light on the tech available outside the confines of the church. Onwards and upwards!!

  10. “eyeswideshut” ? — clearly NOT anymore! LOL!

    I felt really chuffed reading your article, and the way you have come through your ordeal and finally into the sunlight! Betrayal is, as we know, quite a hurdle for anybody to overcome. (especially when one is on the receiving end!)

    Nevertheless, fortunately though, it IS doable! And often ONLY, when one is, strangely enough, able to shift one’s viewpoint (as a victim), over to that of the perpetrator! In this way, one is given a #’life-line’, in order to ‘let go’ of pain, bitterness and even hatred.
    (btw, at the same time, it should be apparent, that no ‘perp’, is even faintly capable, of assuming the POV, of a victim, since if he/she could, that should of course, preclude him/her from the act of perpetration.)

    The # ‘life-line’, I’m referring to, is none other than As-Isness. Or using another word, – ‘ DUPLICATION’, that magical instrument, that is central to the effectiveness of auditing, and as revealed in AXIOM 28, (the exact formula of communication), the gizmo, that when used willingly, can result in ERASURE!!!

    One of the most remarkable examples I have seen of this being done, (independent of Scn), was the emotional visit of (American missionary), Amy Biel’s bereaved parents, when they made peace with her murderers, while accepting their remorse, in exchange for their forgiveness.

    At the end of the day, it is AS-ISness, (duplication) of ‘truth”, that sets us free. 🙂

  11. This is such an awesome article. The one thing I was scared of when contemplating leaving was not being able to get auditing or handle case issues etc. But it is alive and well away from the Church of Squirrelology.

    If you know it works for you of course you don’t want to be deprived of it. Thankfully there are those actually competent and well meaning individuals who will not let it die or be perverted, who practice it according to original intention to great result. And great comments on ethics too.

    Ethics is not the Spanish inquisition or a series of punishments designed to degrade and control you. I for one am alive today in this same body and made it to Grandfather and all of that because a Real Class 8 auditor saved my ass. No checking of TA and hand cream and shoes off and heater on and tissues and antiperspirant and fixed robotic stare. Just easy natural effortless relaxed totally professional help. Instantly right now with no bullshit and super double whammy mark 8 excalibur meritorious 9 year old brand new e-meter either. Those auditors looked at YOU not the meter. If they looked at the meter you were not aware of it. Now find me one of those in the Church today?

    Thank you Eyeswideshut. Great to have happy and uplifting news among the other happenings.

  12. Very interesting conversation. The subject of ethics and responsibility. I could write an essay but it would be too long. Things change over time. The first metered auditing I got in the Church was Integrity Processing. I was a guinea pig for the pilot. The only way to stop the process was to say I was responsible for it all. It was a “bognition”. It was the only “right answer”. I do not mean to suggest it was not helpful at that time. It was.

    But the total cause thing, I mean I had to go WAY up the bridge to readjust that “former cognition” Life is a two way street. It wasn’t “just me” at “total cause”. With transgressions. I took it on and I got “very responsible” and “very cause” but it was lie. It takes two. It’s a 50/50 deal. Minumum.

    I had a wrong item from the very beginning. Because I was not aware enough. People can give themselves wrong items in a session. They do not always come from outside. People give themselves wrong items and wrong indications all day long. Even in Scientology, in case you haven’t noticed.

    My taking “total responsibility” you deny the other person’s cause and beingness.

    It gets hallucinatory. If you are in a car accident, you are lying to yourself if you can take “total responsibility” for it. Someone else was there. If you can’t grant them beingness for being part of it, admit their effect on your life, …………

    I spent 42 years thinking it was “all me”. Probably the reverse of blame. I had to get through a lot of solo auditing and a few L’s before I was able to fix it. I am not “total cause” neither “total effect”.

    There is a middle road and this is a higher truth. A better admission.

    This is where you get Sea Org people thinking they are “saving the planet” when others can clearly see they don’t even understand geography. This is where you read Lisa MasPhearson’s O/W write ups and realize this woman could only see HERSELF as being the liability and everyone else as holy and lost her will to live.

    It takes two to make a thing go right. It takes two to make a thing go wrong. I know it is not easy to confront that staff or Scientolgists wanted to blow you off the bridge. Or make you suffer, or throw you under the bus, or stand in your way, or reduce you, or handicap you. Or throw you under the bus. Or put you off purpose or set you up for failed purposes. When the word from “above” is that the suppression comes from “outside”, and psychs and “wogs” and SP’s.

    When it comes from your own tribe, you just don’t see. Your own tribe can move away from the Church and do the same thing. Come to your home and work to blow you, your family, everyone you know off your lines. Leave everyone with unhappy memories and experiences.

    Take the Scientology out of it. There are people that can lift you up , or tear you down. And it is a two way street.

    I am not going to cover up for others anymore. by assuming “full responsibly” . That really invalidates some other people.

    Another thing is understanding your own rightness in an overt. I spent so many years making myself wrong for every overt and never ever looking for my rightness because it was a “justify er” and invalid.

    Why isn’t rightness just as valid as wrongness? This is where the “no mercy” enters the equation. Unless a person can see their own rightness in these incidents, it becomes a degrading experience to share them.

    Let’s face it. if you have seven starving children and you steal a loaf of bread to keep them alive, commit that overt. You never ever hear in a sec check, the question as to how you did the math on this overt you just gave up, do you? You do not sort it out, how it might have been right even though it is a with hold. You are never made right on sec check. Ever. But if you are basically good, you had to be right in some regard.

    Rightness is considered a “justify er”.

    And you know what, a lot of things are justified,

    Us talking here right now about all of this bull shit and trying to sort it out for ourselves? This is justifiable. We want to KNOW. We are dedicated to KNOWING how to KNOW. NOT how to “have faith”. This was a total bait and switch.

    How many of you came into Scientology with the purpose of “blind faith”?

    • Those are very interesting views , Oracle !

      Very interesting indeed. The subject of “being right” is widely misunderstood in the Church. “Confession” is equated with “admission of guilt” intead of “recognition of Cause” ; two very different viewpoints.

      By “admitting guilt” one is being made wrong and the effect of one’s own Cause. When the Church attempts to get others to “take the full responsibility” , what they are actually attempting is for others to admit “what a terrible dog they have been” and to “fully take the blame”.

      LRH Tech on Ethics and Justice is incredible twisted around and misunderstood resulting in many injustices and the feeling of degradation for many. “Never be the effect of your own Cause” comes to mind. A very applicable ref comes from “Advance Procedure and Axioms” :


      Also : “Full reponsibility is not fault ; it is recognition of being cause”LRH

      Also : “Assumption of full responsibility is a statement of control of the environment and persons within it without necessity of control”LRH

      All quotes from the AP&A book.

      I differ from the viewpoint that full responsability is a two-pole phenomena (or a 50-50 proposition) and that one is not total Cause. I will explain. Responsibility is a graduated scale with no-responsability at the bottom of the scale and full responsibility at the top of it. Any being is somewhere on this scale. The higher he finds himself, the more control he has of the environment and the persons in it. I am talking about good , positive control.

      But as any factor about Truth , responsibility can’t and should not be imposed but rehabilitated, which is a very different viewpoint and approach. It is the rehabilitation of our native ability for assuming the status of full source and cause for all efforts in all dynamics that we are attempting to rehabilitate here. But that’s an OT ability by definition.

      What the Church is doing wrong (by dramatizing their own inability to be Cause), is attempting for others to be a the top of the scale without going up the the intervening steps. Attempting that a person not being a Grade II release to assume great responsibility for things is to be a fool indeed. W/out grade IV, also the person will have trouble recognizing Cause.

      These endless Sec Checks trying to get others “to be good” , to “behave” , are only bank dramatizations and an altered sequence of trying to make an OT out of Sec Checks instead of by going up the Bridge. Cause “full responsability” is an OT ability. It is gradiently rehabilitated by going up the Bridge to full OT.

      Real responsibility as opposed to “forced responsibility” and the “now I am supposed to(s)” , is quite liberating and extremely easy to carry around. It is like a nice and relaxing sea breeze , no effort to it , just a very smooth flow. It is a native ability. This other LRH ref ilustrate this point :

      “The nonrecognition and denial of the right of intervention between oneself and any being, idea, matter, energy, space, time or form, and the assumption of full right of determination over it…

      “Full responsibility is not fault; it is recognition of being cause “. LRH. Def of “Responsability” in Tech dic.

      Note that it says : “The nonrecognition and denial of the right of intervention….”. In others words one doesn’t seek to “share” causativeness. One doesn’t hold the concept of “I am responsible but you are responsible too”. One doesn’t seek nor want any intervention as one is quite comfortable with assuming full source and cause for all counter efforts.

      Of course, part of assuming full responsability is to get others to assume it as well. But one would be in a totally relaxed frame of mind about it and would grant others enough beingness to allow them to get up there on their own. And the key to achieving this is to be patient enough and kind enough to allow others to be while they are coming upscale. This next LRH refs ilustrate my point :

      “It’s perfectly all right to be nice to people. It isn’t a weakness at all; nothing weak about being nice. In matter of fact, if you aren’t, you’re in the soup.

      “You could say that the only times for which you were suffering are those times when you weren’t nice enough. When you weren’t kind enough and when you weren’t unmean enough and those are the only times from which you’re really suffering. …

      “The only thing you should ever be tough about is insist that the other fellow ought to stand on his own feet, too. And the only way you’ll ever communicate that to him is to communicate it to him in a very nice way. Then he’s liable to receive it.”

      — L. Ron Hubbard

      This quote is excerpted from the lecture Testing, delivered on 15 November 1956. From the Washington Lectures.

      Full responsability is a quite liberating quality and ability. One that makes you feel in control of anything and everything. It is quite relaxing and very easy to carry around if and only if you got there on your own w/out others trying to enforce it on you. Here LRH on it again :

      “Anything for which the individual feels any misemotion—antagonism, anger, fear, grief, apathy—is something for which he has not accepted responsibility; and there is misemotion only when an individual refuses to accept responsibility in that sphere of action. He can control anything for which he has accepted the full responsibility. He is unable to control that for which he has not accepted responsibility.”

      — L. Ron Hubbard

      Excerpted from the Dianetic Auditor’s Bulletin Cause and Effect writte in February 1952. This can be found in the Technical Volumes.

      Full responsibility is the key to a happy and succsessful existence.


      • See, whatever works for you Peter. I’m O.K. with how you want to see it. But the thing is, I need to be O.K. with the way I see it. And own that. I see that as full responsibility. Not the way Hubbard saw it, not the way you see it. The way I see it. People who have Hubbard’s view enforced on them are not permitted to take full responsibility. You have to come into your own truths. They you do not need to blame Hubbard. And we see a lot of that.

        I think one needs to first have a sense of SELF and integrate other information with that.

        The current C of S demands SURRENDER. Of self. How responsible is that?

        Yes, I assumed full responsibility for everything for many years, and it sure was better than no responsibility. But it wasn’t total truth for me and I denied everyone else’s value by doing so and discounted other people’s power.

        It works for me now to notice other people’s power, and allow that. It does not scare me. In fact, I am more aware of forces when I do that. But I have my own personal interests. Forces and conditions is of high interest to me.

      • Thanks for the comm Dude,

        By all means, follow your own integrity. I wouldn’t have it any other way. I am glad you apply your own discernment to things in life ; that’s a great quality indeed.

        I never intended in my statements, that full responsibility is something to be imposed either by LRH or the Church. It can’t and shouldn’t be ; that was my whole point to begin with. It is a rehabilitated ability which is a graduated one from zero to full assumption. It is individual to each, and a road traveled by yourself.

        I don’t share the believe that Truth, any one , can be imposed on anyone. It defies its own definiton to do so. Be true to your own observations and observe anything by yourself ; that’s my maxim.

        We are ok, Dude. Take care.

        ARC PETER

      • Still borrowing on someone else’s laptop….. I meant to bring around, that with responsibilties, that includes spotting source. One can sit down to dinner and think, “Because I am me this is food is front of front of me”. And feel they caused it all. There is some truth that they bought about the situation, it is also true that many people were on co create to make that plate of food. From the Farmers who planted the seeds to grow the food to the factory that produced the plate. Awareness of co create.

    • Wow I was just discussing this very thing! I dont think rightness and wrongness are as important as intention. Because what is right for me could be wrong for you but if our intention is good it makes a huge difference.

  13. Yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Scientology is alive and well and creating able people who can think and create and laugh and do good and jive and have fun and do better and help out….
    But more importantly:
    They went in seeking improvement.
    They came out more sane, happier, productive, influential, kind, aware, helpful, generous, ethical and brimming with ARC.
    Thanks LRH.
    Thanks Eyeswideshut for being brave enough to try the other side.
    Thanks Independent Scientology, for being there, helping, and forwarding LRH’s legacy to us.
    A more rewarding, delightful, heart-cockles warming post on this blog I have not seen.
    The tech is alive. It is here. And, it is delivering what LRH always promised – a better you.

  14. To T.O:
    Bingo!! As usual. What a wise, perceptive thetan you are. With great analytical abilities. As always, so refreshing and eye opening.
    To: rracingintheblood39, Shelley, sheeplebane, Travers, thetaclear Tony DePhillips, and others, and of course eyeswideshut:
    Great post, comments and observations. For many months I kept “being shocked” by the fun, simplicity and wins of Indie (and totally professional) auditing and services.
    My last CoS tech. estimate, after being bogged for years was 6-7 intensives, and then (hopefully) back on bridge. (OT4). Hopefully…. I never bought that.
    Instead, joined a GOOD indie service (Dror, Israel), and after 4 (repeat four) sessions, I was happily flying on OT4. In the 1st session I kept asking my auditor: “is this a session?”
    And he replied: “sure is”. And I said: ” but, but, it is like a fun chat over a cup of coffee…” and he said: “it sure is…” and smiled. And I said: ” and the session?” He said: “sure, right here, lets go, shall we?
    And I said (with probably LFBD of several dials…) ” of course buddy, let’s go!!!” And than, the most brilliant, professional session, with total attention on my case and NOTHING ELSE.
    It is so true: Huge difference between auditing/ethics in an un-safe environment and doing “the same” in a safe and sane area. They are not even in the same universe! And explaining this to someone who for years lived, got auditing/ethics, in a (usually) heavy, unsafe,
    threatening and often totally suppressive, CoS environment is nearly impossible. Until actually experienced. Like explaining the joy of dolphins to a deep desert man…
    And the BEING RIGHT issue, that T.O pointed out so rightly, is a vital issue! Goes to the very core of us beings!! I can write loads on Indie services, from many angles. Even the “type of wins” as an Indie are different, much wider in scope, and MUCH MORE UNIVERSAL AND LESS CULTISH!!
    Here’s one win (out of numerous) which touched my very core, on that very subject of BEING RIGHT. See below:
    Love to all!

    Win Nots March 4 2014

    I arrived today very “noisy” full of issues, good bad, ugly, but uncontrolled and hectic. Too much.
    Auditor cheered me up, saying that’s being alive, and really living. Yes, true, I am alive, I totally agreed. But it was a bit obsessive…too alive.
    We set to work, step by step slowly at first, quicker later, but always professional and positive. And with results! In the end of the day, I felt really good. Yet another angle of good, another layer of goodness. A different taste.
    What a tasty level, this Nots! Endless dishes and menus, some fantastic, some hard to digest (oh yes..!), some piece of cake….but all of them life shaking, life changing. And mood and tone altering, oh…BIG time. I started slow and half blind, then got better, and better. And then I was doing difficult, elusive things correctly and more and more RIGHT! Oh, the team work: at times fantastic and vital guidance by my auditor. At times I guide, and auditor follows, without interrupting, almost solo…but all really bingo and successful! Totally self-determined cooperation.
    And there’s the core of my great feeling today:
    The wins come from working on the case, blowing charge in loads. But under all that, and below the ability to do it and do it so well, lies a wonderful carpet, a flying carpet, a powerful tool to work with: Being RIGHT. I get in this place the feeling that I am right. always. In session I get it in such loads from my auditor that it helps overcome anything! I realized today how absolutely vital this attitude is! I know today that this angelic, theta beingness by my auditor is the most powerful help there is. It is priceless!
    Tami, thank you so much for making me right, and holding it in place no matter what. This is the real thing, the life provider. It is!
    My universe is full of wrong things. That’s why I work so hard to fix it. And I can confront them all in time and make them right. But only by learning and adopting that example you give. And that everybody here at Dror gives. That I am right! This is the big secret, the key element in getting all the countless wins I had so far. And perhaps the biggest win of them all.
    Thank you for making me right. Yes, even when I totally forget it myself!!
    Here’s to you and to all the rest of the freedom (Dror) gang! Cheers!
    and much love,

      • Hemi, Thank you for your kind words and sharing your success story with us.

        Eyeswideshut, Your article has truths which we all share.

        The Tech works miracles when delivered peacefully, accurately, with care, for the benefit of the preclear. The auditor is regarded by the PC as his best friend and must uphold the trust placed in him.

        This trust has been betrayed in the church, scrapped for a few pennies of donations for DM’s next pet project.

        We are so fortunate we have all the Tech, free and available. There are now hundreds of auditors and practitioners around the world delivering and helping each other. Times are good again.

        Thank you all for what you are doing, Dani

    • Hemi – this is just fantastic – thanks for sharing this with us. Awesome stuff. I am thoroughly enjoying this whole discussion thread, the ARC and camaraderie here. THIS is what SCN should be.

    • Hemi, I sit here, deeply touched by your incredible level of exhilaration, though disappointed that I’m not present to see you personally !! 🙂

      Flying carpet ride it is! Fly high! Fly low! It’s all part of the amazing experience at Dror, for “Shor” 🙂

      — And as for having the ‘right’ Auditor? (Tami) — priceless!

      — See you later … Flying Carpet Aviator! 🙂

  15. The price of freedom is walking away from the things that LRH abhorred like IAS, GAT I and II Ideal Orgs etc… (he explained exchange too many times in his lifetime to repeat here. But, the undeniable fact is that LRH did believe in exchange and wrote lots of policies on it and he personally PRACTICED it his whole life)

    Very nice posting Eyes Wide Shut.

    • Thanks Robert, that’s a very astute observation, and worth repeating, to balance the naysayers’ obsessions to play old, scratchy, worn out ‘big hits’ of yesterday. They simply do NOT realize, that their motivation, comes from unresolved situation/s rooted in the past. Thus, it also becomes obvious, that in regard to Scientology, they really are NOT, in Present Time. 🙂

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